Bloodless
by Fleur de Anemone
Summary: When Alphonse is not allowed to help Edward with military work anymore, who is Edward paired up with? Coniniaue, of course... This won't end well. In chapter thirty it becomes a Tenchi Muyo crossover XD. I do not own FMA or TM. This goes for the whole fic
1. Authority

**Chapter one: Authority**

Edward poked his head around the door. "You wanted to see me, Colonel?"

"Yes, Fullmetal. Sit down."

_Oh, no. This is big if he wants me to sit down. _Edward thought. He sat down without question.

"King Bradley is beginning to wonder if Alphonse is a good partner for you. I mean, he's not even part of the military." Roy began.

"Ohh no, you are not taking away my little brother!" Edward said firmly.

"I never said that, Fullmetal. Let me finish." Roy sighed and laced his fingers together. "You see, Alphonse can stay with you, but because he is not military, he cannot help you with military issues. Which is why King Bradley assigned you a partner."

"A partner?"

"Yeah." Roy picked up some papers on his desk, his eyes scanning them. "She became a state alchemist a year or two after you…"

"She?"

"Yeah. Her name is somewhere on here…"

"Is she hot?"

A sweat drop dripped down Roy's head. "I don't know, I've never seen her. Typical, of a teenage boy… Anyway, She became a state alchemist when she was fourteen, and she is about your age now. We thought that you two could help each other out."

"You didn't tell her about the human transmutation incident, did you?" Edward asked.

"No. That's a secret, and I am a man of my word." Roy replied.

"So she won't be helping on research on the Philosopher's stone?"

"Just military issues."

"Does she have any special skills besides alchemy?" Edward asked. Roy passed him the papers. "See for yourself, Fullmetal."

Edward scanned the random paragraphs. "It says here… That she was a thief for the early years of her life?"

"Yeah. I think she's really fast and good at jumping… I think, I dunno."

"And it says here, in weaponry skills, that her aim is almost as good as Hawkeye's?"

"Yup. I guess so."

"What was her alchemist name?"

Edward glanced at the top of the page, where it had her description.

**Name: **Tommy, Coniniaue

**Age: **16 years, eight months

**Eye color: **Blue

**Hair color: **Red

**Alchemist info**

**S/he has been a state alchemist for: **2 years, eight months

**Special skills: **Excellent aim, fleet of foot, powerful alchemy

**Specializes in: **Guns, fighting alchemy

**Alchemist name: **Bloodless Alchemist

"'Bloodless Alchemist?'" Edward repeated. "I know King Bradley has a good sense of humor, but 'Bloodless Alchemist?" Makes her sound like a cold hearted monster."

"Well, she's not exactly the nicest person you'll ever meet, Edward." Roy sighed. "She's waiting outside, on the front steps."


	2. Difference

**Chapter two: Difference**

Maria Ross walked up the front steps, glancing over. A girl was leaning against one of the large pillars, smoking a cigarette.

"Are you too young to smoke? And you're not allowed to loiter on military land." She began.

"Relax lady." The girl replied. "It's fake. And I'm not loitering, I'm waiting for someone."

Maria sniffed the air. "It doesn't smell fake."

"Well it is, take it in and test it." She girl snapped.

_She seems sure about this… _Maria thought. "I'll take your word for it… Whom are you waiting for?"

"Dunno. Colonel Wotsisface told me to wait here." She shrugged.

Maria sighed and just went inside, passing Edward and Roy on the way. Edward scratched his head and looked around. "Where is she?"

"Over here, dimwit." Coniniaue stamped her fake cigarette into the ground and crossed her arms. "What, did you think I was going to be short like you?"

"WHO'S THE SUPER SMALL SPECK THAT CAN'T BE SEEN UNDER A MICROSCOPE?" Edward shouted, fuming.

"You are." Coniniaue laughed.

"GAH LEMME AT HER!" Edward fought to get to her, but Roy held his metal arm.

"Calm down, Fullmetal." He laughed. "That's Coniniaue. I told you she wasn't that nice."

"Shut up, Fireboy." Coniniaue snapped.

Edward's eyes trailed up and down her body. She was about his age, with long red hair pulled back in a braid that went to her ankles. He had thought her hair would be an orange-red, but instead, it was the color of blood. She wore a black shirt with sleeves that went to her elbows and black pants that stopped at her ankles, where black combat boots covered them. On her hands were fingerless black gloves. Her lips were a blood red, and her nails were the same color. Red eye shadow gave her an exotic look. Her shirt hung off her shoulders, showing the alchemy symbol that was tattooed above her right breast.

"You don't look like a state alchemist." He commented.

"That's because I'm a girl. There aren't many girl state alchemists around here." She muttered. "Listen pipsqueak" –This made Edward fume— "Just because I have to work with you doesn't mean I have to like it. So don't butt in on my social life, okay?"

"Are you going to be busy stealing?" Edward hissed.

"Probably." She replied, crossing her arms.

"Coniniaue, military personnel cannot steal." Roy said firmly, crossing his arms.

"Fine! Then I'll just do something else to piss you off!" She retorted. "I'm only in this stupid military because I need to research… Something."

That interested Edward. "What do you need to research?"

"Nothing! Just leave me alone. And don't look over my shoulder every damn second." She hissed.

"Your first mission is to just find a thief who's been stealing from the library." Mustang said. "Alright? Important files on the Philosopher's stone have been stolen. And also several on alchemy. We need you to find the culprit and bring him to justice. It should be an easy task." He glared at Edward sternly. "And no reading the other files while you're back there!"


	3. Bloodless

**Chapter three: Bloodless alchemist**

Coniniaue and Edward walked quietly to the central library. "Coniniaue…" Edward began. "What exactly did you do to become a state alchemist?"

"Uh… Yeah. I transmuted a dog and a cat together then separated them without using a circle."

Edward blinked. "That means you saw the true knowledge…"

"Yeah. What did you do?"

"I saved two guys from death without a circle when I was 12." Edward explained. "I heard you became a state alchemist when you were 14?"

"Yeah. So?"

"And what earned you the name 'Bloodless alchemist?'" He asked, curious.

"None of your business."

"Okie dokie then."

Coniniaue tapped her foot on the ground. "Don't we need police tools? Like, to see fingerprints and stuff?"

"No. We can talk to the library personnel and find out anything suspicious." Edward explained. "Didn't you know that?"

"I'm usually the one stealing, sorry."

Edward walked over and talked to the librarian, then returned to Coniniaue. "The librarian said that there is a footprint around back, in the file room. Come on."

Coniniaue followed Edward to the back rooms. "The colonel told you not to read any files on the Philosopher's stone." Coniniaue said. "Why are you researching it?"

"You don't think I got the name 'Fullmetal' for no reason." He pulled back his jacket, showing her his metal arm.

Coniniaue showed no expression. "Is that all? An automail arm? I have better reasons!"

"Oh really, well, I'd like to hear them." Edward replied, scowling.

"T… Too bad!" She stammered. "Maybe some other time, but not here…"

Edward grabbed her arm and dragged her off into a supply closet. He closed the door and stared at her, crossing his arms. "Okay, what? I told you…"

Coniniaue sniffed and looked away. "No. Way. I am so not telling you!"

"Then you can't leave until you do." Edward replied, standing in front of the door.

Coniniaue sighed. She rolled back her sleeve and held out her arm. "Fine. Cut me."

"What? No way! Are you insane?" Edward replied, shocked.

"Just cut me! If you want to find out!"

Edward pulled off his jacket and made a blade from his arm. He winced and slid it along Coniniaue arm. He returned his arm to its normal form and blinked, looking at her arm. "So… What?"

"It's not bleeding, is it?" Coniniaue said.

"No… It's not. Freaky…"

"You see what I mean? I can't feel anything. If you punched me right now I would feel no pain. I have no blood, hence 'Bloodless alchemist.'" Coniniaue said quietly.


	4. Evil

**Chapter four: Evil**

Lust lifted her foot to stamp on a ladybug. She and Gluttony were sitting high up on the roof of a building, waiting.

"HEY, HEY, HEY!" Envy screeched. He turned back into his usual form, odd fashion sense and all. He glared at Lust. "Don't step on every bug you see when I'm not around!"

"How was I supposed to know you turned into something as weak as a ladybug?" Lust replied, rolling her eyes.

"Shut up." Envy sniffed. "I found out about the girl like you told me, too, okay?"

"OOH! A girl! Can I eat her?" Gluttony asked, tearing off the leg of the corpse of a security guard.

"No, no, she is just a valuable sacrifice as the Fullmetal boy." Lust told him. "She has a strong spirit. It will be a good ingredient in the making of another Philosopher's stone. What did you learn, Envy?"

"Well, see, she's called the Bloodless alchemist because she has no blood. It's very weird; she can't feel anything. No pain, no sickness. We can't torment her!" Envy explained.

"Why does she have no blood?" Lust asked. Gluttony was sad. No blood meant no taste, even if he couldn't eat her.

"I left too soon to find out…"

Lust slashed him with her nails. "IDIOT!"

Back in the closet

Edward was speechless. "Why… How? Coniniaue, this is impossible. How…"

"Shut up!" She replied, pulled her sleeve back down. "Dammit! I don't know what happened. I… I tried human transmutation, on my little sister. She was only four, and I loved her. I can't even revive a four year old girl, proves how worthless I am. One day I tried it, and when I woke up after seeing 'The true knowledge' I have this body. I don't know who saved me. It might be this healing tattoo…" She pointed to the alchemy tattoo above her right breast. "I don't know. Bottom line, someone saved me, and I've been out to find who and the Philosopher's stone for years. That's why I became a state alchemist, so I could use this library."

Edward sighed. "Then you are just as clueless as I am. The ingredients for the stone are living humans. Which is why I want to find another way…"

"Edward… What the Hell?" Coniniaue blinked. "That's…"

Edward explained what he had decoded some time back.

"That's… Just SICK." She almost screamed.

Edward clamped a hand over her mouth. "Shut up!" He hissed. "Let's just get out of this smelly closet and back to work, before Mustang finds us. Okay?"

"Fine. Whatever."

As they left, a dark figure dashed by them. "What the…" Coniniaue muttered. She left Edward and sprinted after the figure. The thief, of course.


	5. Dual personalities

**Chapter five: Dual personalities**

"Coniniaue, wait!" Edward turned and followed her and the thief. "Coniniaue!"

Coniniaue dove and tackled the thief's legs, grounding him. "GOTCHA!" She laughed.

"Coniniaue. Haha, how long has it been? Are you the military's lapdog now?" The thief laughed under his… Well, HER… mask.

"Shut up! Who are you?" Coniniaue ripped off the thief's mask and gasped. She was looking into the eyes of… Herself?"

Edward dashed in at that very moment. He fell over. "OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

"Go away." Coniniaue hissed to the thief Coniniaue.

"Coniniaue, little sis!" The other Coniniaue smiled. "Don't talk like that to big sis!"

"You're not my big sis. We are EXACTLY the same age." Coniniaue growled. "Dominique…"

Edward just stared. Normal dressed Coniniaue. Black-jumpsuit dressed Dominique. Which was hotter? Teen instinct said Dominique.

"Haha, the only reason your name is Coniniaue is because dad spelled 'Dominique' wrong. Ha." Dominique laughed.

"Shut up…"

"Are you…" Edward blinked. "Twins, or something?"

"No. Coniniaue is the original one of us. She was created when dad accidentally merged his two daughters together, Connie and Donna. When he split us, we looked exactly the same. So now we are two people. I got the Donna personality, she got the Connie personality."

"Shut up!" Coniniaue shouted. She clapped her hands and made a pair of handcuffs from the ground. She put them around Dominique's hands.

"So… You lied." Edward glanced at Coniniaue.

Coniniaue sighed. "Well, sorta. It WAS human transmutation, except when dad split us, there was this huge rebound where he had to put artificial hearts in us and had to drain out our blood. He was a doctor as well as a alchemist."

Edward sat down, rubbing his head. He glanced up at Dominique and saw the wild, insane expression on her face.

"Dominique?"

"Yeah?" Coniniaue stopped dragging Dominique away to let Ed speak.

"Are you also behind the local murders?"

"Yeehehehehe!" Dominique stared at him with that insane leer. "Yup, yup yup! Hehehe! Bodies go splat! Splat splat splat!"

Edward just stared. "I'm… I'm going to go call the police…"


	6. Insanity

**Chapter six: Insanity**

"Thirty people dead, no fingerprints, no nothing." Roy read off a paper. He was standing in front of the library with Edward and Coniniaue. "So…" He glanced at Coniniaue. "Is one of you a homunculus, or are you both human…?"

"That's part of the rebound, Colonel." Coniniaue replied. She held up her fingers. No lines, no nothing. Just smooth skin. "We have no fingerprints or anything."

A sweat drop dropped down Roy's forehead. "Y'know… That's really weird…"

"Yeah. I know." She dropped her hands and looked at the ground.

Roy lifted her chin with his hand. "So, no fingerprints… Does that mean you have no patterns in your irises too?"

"Yeah." Coniniaue focused on keeping her eyes open. "I don't have any veins in my eyes either."

"And you have no blood…? None at all?"

"No."

"Wow…" Roy stood as high as he could. "That's just… Really weird. You are totally void of any type of blood disease… You are the perfect thief. No wonder you did that for a living…"

"Please, oh please, don't tell ANYONE, colonel!" She begged. "I don't want to be towed off to some laboratory…"

"I'll keep it secret. That's two alchemists I have power over." He chuckled.

"Yeah, but I hold it over Coniniaue…" Edward said, smirking.

"Hey, shut up human transmutation boy!"

"Why don't you, bloodless thief?"

"Pipsqueak!"

"DON'T CALL ME PIPSQUEAK! OR MIDGET! OR SHRIMP!"

"PIPSQUEAK! MIDGET! SHRIMP!"

"GAH!" Again, Roy had to hold Edward back from pouncing on Coniniaue. Coniniaue smirked and spun on her heel. "Well, I'm done my day's work. Later."

Bleh. Sorry this is so short XD 


	7. The Call

**Chapter seven: The call**

"Hey, Al! C'mere!" Edward beckoned Alphonse to the couch beside it.

"Yes, brother?" Alphonse asked, his metal joints creaking as he sat down.

"Well listen, Colonel Mustang says that you can't help me with military issues…"

"WHAT!" Alphonse sprang up. "He can't do that! You mean I can't help research the Philosopher's stone?"

"No, no, siddown and let me finish." Edward smiled. "You can't help me with military tasks anymore. So, if they assign me to a murder case, then you can't help. But if I want to research the Philosopher's stone, you can help with that. My partner is really cool, pretty too. She caught a thief today, a thief and murder combo. Her sister! Her life is really interesting… I'd tell you more, but I need her permission."

"Permission for what?"

Both of the brothers looked up. Coniniaue was sitting on the coffee table cross-legged, blinking.

"GAH! Coniniaue! How the Hell did you get in…?" Edward growled.

Coniniaue pointed. "The window."

"But… But…" Alphonse ran over to the window and checked the lock. Yes, it was locked. "We locked the window!"

"I'm a thief. I have to know how to open windows." Coniniaue said. "Edward, you can tell him. He's your brother, after all."

"Thanks." And so, Edward explained Coniniaue to Alphonse.

Alphonse looked at Coniniaue. "Miss Coniniaue, that is AMAZING!"

"Miss? Hah. I'm Coniniaue, don't know any 'Miss' Coniniaue." She laughed.

There was a knock on the door. Edward answered it. "What do you want?"

"Edward, sir, there is a call for you in the lobby." The porter said.

"Thank you, I'll be down shortly." He closed the door. "Coniniaue, stay here. If you come down with me then people will think we like each other."

"…Ew. Um, no. I'll wait."

"Hello?" Edward said. At least he was polite on the phone. "Who is this?"

"Yeehehehehe! Hello Edward!"

Edward froze and his pupils shrank. "Who is this? Dominique? Hello!"

"Bodies go splat! Splat, splat, splat! Yours will too! Splat! When I get revenge! Revenge, revenge, revenge! Yeehehehehe!"

The line went dead. Edward just stood there, the phone to his ear, his pupils shrunk to the size of blueberries.

"Brother? Who was that?"

"A murderer."


	8. Letters

**Chapter eight: Letters**

Dear Winry,

Life in central is okay. There are a lot of murder cases I have to solve with Al. But just two days ago, Mustang said he couldn't help me with military work anymore! So, naturally, he assigned me a partner.

So now I'm partnered up with a girl named Coniniaue Tommy, the 'Bloodless alchemist.' Her alchemist name speaks for itself. Her father, Nigel Tommy, accidentally merged his two daughters, Connie and Donna, together to form a sort of super human chimera. Connie was rude and witty, while Donna had a rather insane streak in her. When merged, they became a cocky, smart girl with red hair that went to her ankles. When they were split, they became exact twins! However, Coniniaue took the personality of Connie, while Dominique took the personality of Donna. The weird part is, Coniniaue and Dominique have no distinguishing marks. No fingerprints, no iris patterns, not even veins in their eyes, or anywhere else on the bodies. Yes, their hearts are artificial, and they have no blood. Weird? Oh yeah. Now, Coniniaue is a state alchemist and Dominique is an insane murderous thief on the loose! Crazy families out there now, huh?

Well anyway, yesterday we caught a thief who was stealing important files on the Philosopher's stone. That's when I met Dominique, Coniniaue's 'twin.' We locked her up, but it seems she escaped! She actually called the lobby of the inn I was staying at and threatened me. I can't believe it, but it seems like I'm gonna die… Huh. Don't worry; I'll come back so you can fix my automail 

Edward Elric

"Writing to your girlfriend?"

"I AIN'T GOT NO GIRLFRIEND WINRY IS MY MECHANIC!"

"Huh, it seems like you like her a lot." Coniniaue snickered.

"I DO NOT! SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! WINRY ROCKBELL IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Coniniaue snickered again. She snatched his letter and read it over. "What the Hell, who gave you permission to tell her about me?" She snapped.

"Well, uh, you let me tell Alphonse about you, so I figured…" Edward began

Coniniaue cut him off. "You figured nothing. But, because you're my partner and she's your girlfriend, I guess you can tell her."

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"Fine, fine. You can tell Winry. Sheesh. You have such a temper."

"And you don't?"

"Shut the Hell up, Elric."

"See? You say I have a temper when…"

"Pipsqueak."

"DON'T CALL ME A DWARF! OR A SHRIMP! OR A GRAIN OF SAND! OR A SUPER SMALL SPECK THAT CAN'T EVEN BE SEEN UNDER A MICROSCOPE!"

"Edward Elric, you are a dwarf, a shrimp, a grain of sand, and a super small speck that can't be seen under a microscope."

"GAH!"

Just a funny chapter for the readers XD 


	9. Youswell

**Chapter nine: Youswell**

Four hands slammed into a desk, and two chairs clattered to the floor as two forms rose up sharply.

"YOU'RE SENDING US TO YOUSWELL?" Coniniaue and Edward shouted in unison.

"Yeah. Edward, I know you've already been there, but it needs to be checked on. We check on it every few years. Since the townsfolk seem to like you the most, we're sending in you." Roy glanced up from his desk. "Is there a problem?"

Edward sighed. "I guess not. Fine, we'll go. But Alphonse has to be able to come with us!"

"You can bring him, but you can't bring him on the inspection. Okay? We expect you back in a week or less." Mustang ordered.

"Fine, fine. When do we leave?" Edward asked.

"The train leaves in ten minutes."

Again, in unison with Coniniaue: "WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"

Edward and Coniniaue ran as fast as they could, Alphonse close behind them. At the last moment, they all caught the door and threw themselves inside. "Gah…" Coniniaue, Edward and Alphonse sat down. Because he was so big, Alphonse had to take a whole seat, forcing Coniniaue to sit next to Edward. "This is stupid. Youswell is a quiet town, they don't need to inspect it."

"Apparently, they do. Why else are they sending their two best alchemists?"

Edward yawned and looked out a window. "Hey Coniniaue, I can see Youswell. We're almost there!"

He blinked and looked at Coniniaue. "Coniniaue?"

Coniniaue's head was laid on his shoulder, her eyes shut tight. Edward sighed. "She's ASLEEP…"

Alphonse woke up right then. He blinked, and if he could, smiled. "Ooh, brother, someone likes you…"

Edward's cheeks turned red. "She doesn't like me! She's ASLEEP, Alphonse!"

"Then why didn't she fall asleep the other way and sleep on the armrest?"

"I don't know, Al. I don't know."


	10. Cave ins

**Chapter ten: Cave-ins**

And of course, Coniniaue woke up, blinked, wondered what she was sleeping on, looked up, sprang up, sat down and shivered.

Edward just smiled. "It's no big deal. We're almost there anyway, and there are friends of mine I want you to meet."

"Hi everybody who bought the deed and no longer owe me money!" Edward beamed.

Everyone looked up and welcomed him warmly. Coniniaue looked around. "You used to own this town?"

"Yeah. I swindled the deed from second lieutenant Yoki and sold it to Halling here for 200 grand!" Edward replied, shaking the hand of Halling. "Well, sorta. I sold it to him so my brother and I could stay at the inn for the night. Now they don't hate me anymore!"

Coniniaue was about to say something when Kyle, Halling's son (Kyle, Kayal, or Khayal. Take your pick. It's different in the manga and anime.) muttered, "Excuse me ma'am." And pulled Edward aside.

"Hey, Ed…"

"Yeah?"

"Who's the girl?"

Edward looked up at his partner. "Oh, her? That's Coniniaue. She's a state alchemist like myself, and my partner."

Kyle just stared. "She's pretty…"

A sweat drop fell down the back of Edward's head. "Don't let that mislead you…"

"Hi, everybody who used to work for me but doesn't anymore!" Edward called into the mines. "It's me, Edward! How's everything going down there?"

"Good, Edward, sir!" Someone called back.

"Great! So I don't have to come in and check?"

"N-nope!"

Coniniaue blinked and started into the mines. Edward caught her shoulder. "Coniniaue, they said we don't need to come in!"

"Edward, don't believe all you hear."

Coniniaue strode up to a group of several men. "Hello, I'm from the military, I'm Edward's partner. Is there anything wrong?" Just in case they didn't believe her, she showed them her watch and the inscription that said "Coniniaue Tommy" on it.

"Erm, yes. Higher up…. Higher up there was a cave-in, and we can't get to about six men, or the coal up there." One of them explained, pointing.

"Oh. Well, let me fix that."

The coal miners looked at the cave-in. "I don't know… We were thinking to let Edward fix it."

"Maybe you should see what I can do first, okay?" She replied dryly. Clapping, she put her hands on the floor, closing her eyes as blue lightning zipped into the rocks. They all shivered, rose into the air, then slammed back into their normal positions, leaving nary a pebble in the gap.


	11. Coniniaue's alchemy

**Chapter eleven: Coniniaue's Alchemy**

Edward dashed up just as it ended. "What the… How… What…"

Coniniaue blinked. "Um, I used alchemy… Hello, you use it all the time, you should know."

"Well yeah, but you did it so fast…"

"I was a thief, Edward. I'm all about speed." With those last words, she went back to Halling's inn.

Edward inspected the walls. "She did such fine work… But I've never seen alchemy like that. It almost seems like she was controlling the stuff…"

Kyle was beside him, also inspecting. "Yeah. That was kind of weird. Even when dad did a little alchemy I didn't see that. Where does she come from?"

Edward blinked. "Well, now that you mention it, I do still have her papers…" As if to show him, he drew the papers from his coat.

Kyle reached for them, but he pulled them away. "Sorry Kyle, military only…"

"Aw, no fair…"

"But I can read it to you."

"Okay. So what's it say?"

"'Coniniaue's family originated from Xing. However, when Coniniaue was 'born' they moved here. Her parents were accomplished scientists, so they left to help with the war and make weapons. However, a bomb hits near their tent, which went off a train reaction of gunpowder inside. Their dying wish was that Coniniaue become a fantastic alchemist, and Dominique use her skills wisely.' Wow, there's a lot of extra space here."

"Why don't you add in someone of your own?" Kyle suggested.

"Yeah…" Edward pulled out a pen and scribbled this after the summary: "However, Dominique used her unique skills to become a murderous thief, who likes watching bodies go 'splat!' Coniniaue is, of course, the partner of the wonderful Edward Elric, the 'Fullmetal alchemist' for the military."

Kyle peered over his shoulder. "You like flattering yourself, don't you?"

"No one else does. Being called short is bad enough, I need to be flattered once in a while!" He replied.

Edward returned to the inn. "Coniniaue!" He called, entering the room. "Are you here?"

"Over here, dimwit." Coniniaue said. She was sitting on the floor, practicing alchemy. She kept assembling and disassembling a metal…

"Is that my arm?" Edward said, looking at his arm. It was still in its socket.

"Sort of. This is your old one." Coniniaue replied. "I needed something to practice with."

"Oh. Well, um, you'd better assemble it before you're done."

"Umm…" Coniniaue looked down. There were hundreds of little parts strewn across the floor.

"Oh, no. Tell me you can fix it…"

"I can fix it."

Edward crossed his arms. "Alright. Fix it right here. Right now."

Coniniaue shrugged. "I was thinking of going downstairs and getting something to drink.

"Not before you fix my arm!"

Coniniaue sighed, and slapped her hands together. She closed her eyes and come her hands on the ground before the pieces.


	12. Servants

**Chapter twelve: Servants**

Two pieces each lifted into the air then snapped in place. Moments later, the arm was reassembled before them.

Edward blinked. "Um, okay…. Wow. What kind of alchemy is that?"

"Telepathic alchemy. I discovered it…"

"WOW YOU DID? So that's why it's not in any books?"

"Yeah. I was thinking of going to Rush valley and fix automail when I retire." Coniniaue explained. "Open up a quiet shop in town… I'd get tons of customers…"

"Retire? Coniniaue, with that ability, you could become colonel, general… President!" Edward exclaimed.

"With your abilities you can become the same things I could. It's no big deal… I mean, I can't use telepathic alchemy in battle. Now listen…" She stood up and grabbed his collar, glaring into him. "You can't tell ANYONE! NO ONE at all! Not even Alphonse, or Winry, or anyone!"

"What? This is a scientific break through! I have to tell someone else, um, Mustang, Hawkeye, Havoc, Ross…" Edward stammered.

"No. Way."

"But…"

"No! Please! I'm not that good yet, and I'll need to be able to explain… Besides, it's just like normal alchemy, except slow enough to see how you really do it." Coniniaue begged. "Please…"

Edward smiled maliciously. "I won't tell… If you do everything I say…"

A sweat drop fell down the back of Coniniaue's head. "You have got to be kidding me."

"'And in my report on Youswell, Coniniaue has discovered a new kind of alchemy…'"

"Fine! Fine!"

Edward rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Hahaha…. Now. Coniniaue! You are now my faithful servant…"

"This is beyond blackmail."

"Shut up! Anyway, I was you to… Um…" He thought for a moment. "Aha! The worst thing I can possibly make you do… Well, not the worst, but still. I want you to sit down and tell me what you think about me. HAHA!"

Coniniaue froze. "No. Way."

"'Dear Colonel…'"

"'Dear King Bradley. I am happy to inform you that Edward Elric, the Fullmetal alchemist, attempted human transmutation…'"

"'Dear King Bradley, I am happy to inform you that Coniniaue, the 'Bloodless alchemist,' is really one half of a superhuman chimera. She has no fingerprints, no rings in her irises, no veins, no nothing. The only way to correctly identify her is to make an imprint of her teeth or something…'"

Coniniaue growled. "I'd rather sacrifice my insanity than tell you."

Edward blinked. "Oh. Um… Well anyway, the train leaves tomorrow morning, be ready…"


	13. On the train home

**Chapter thirteen: On the train home**

Coniniaue chose to sit in a seat across the aisle from Edward and Alphonse. The past incident was really weird… Anyway, she had her legs curled beneath her, and she was reading off a piece of paper. Edward, feeling back for earlier, stood up and sat down next to her. "Whatcha reading?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"Coniniaue, if it has words on a page, it can't be nothing."

"Alright. I'm reading over your stats. You got a page with all my stats, right? Well, I got a page with all of yours."

Edward peeked over her shoulder. "Mustang had better written nice things about me…"

His eyes scanned down the columns until they stopped on:

**Height: **Short.

"GAH! When we get back to central…" Edward growled. Coniniaue just laughed and shook her head. "Ed, calm down. He did recognize your skills as a alchemist and your love for your brother, so relax."

"…He called me short…"

"Ed? You ARE short."

"DON'T CALL ME AN ULTRA SUPER SHORT KID! OR A SMALL GRAIN OF RICE THAT DOESN'T EVEN SHOW UP IN YOUR EYES! OR AN ULTRA HYPER MIDGET! OR MINIATURE SIZED! OR A SHORTY WHO'S SO SMALL HE'S BARELY VISABLE AND HARD TO TARGET! OR A SHORTY WHO NEEDS TO BE LOOKED AT THROUGH A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO ACTUALLY BE SEEN! OR A BEAN! OR A SUPER MIDGET THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO STEP ON HIM! OR A TINY BUG THAT ESCAPES THE WRATH OF YOUR SHOE BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL THAT HE FITS IN THE GROOVES AND CAN'T GET SQUASHED! OH YES, I'M SO SMALL I CAN'T BE SEEN AMONGST THE GRAINS OF SAND, AS ALWAYS!"

"Hey, hey, I didn't say all that… And you forgot pipsqueak."

"DON'T CALL ME PIPSQUEAK! OR SHORTY! OR SHRIMP! OR LITTLE!"

**(Again, a funny chapter for the readers. Short ((Haha)) and enjoyable. Source to find all of these silly little 'short' nicknames: worry, the next chapter will have some fighting, I promise XD)**


	14. Shot

Chapter fourteen: Shot

"Are we there yet?"

"Yes Coniniaue, we're back in central."

"Great." She tumbled off the train, unaware. "Let's hurry up and get this stupid repost back to Mustang. I…"

BAM. ZIP. SPLAT.

**Later, at the hospital**

Edward sat with his face bent over his knees, his face in his hands. Alphonse sat next to him.

Alphonse broke the silence. "Brother, do you think Coniniaue is okay?"

"Alphonse, if I was every sure of anything in my life, I'm sure Coniniaue was okay." He mumbled. But it kept replaying in his mind. That awful noise when the bullet struck Coniniaue:

SPLAT.

_"Bodies go splat! Splat, splat, splat!"_

"It sounded just like what Dominique said." He muttered.

"What's that, brother?"

"It sounded like Dominique. Splat. Do you think Dominique followed us all the way to Youswell, and then followed us back on the train before ours? I think that she shot Coniniaue because the bullet made a SPLAT noise when it hit…"

Mustang entered the hospital, Hawkeye trailing behind him. "The gun was no type of any known gun to the military." He read off of the report he got from the doctors. "Nor was the bullet. This guy has been making his own guns and bullets. Fullmetal?"

Edward glanced up. "Yeah?"

"What kind of noise did the bullet make when it hit Coniniaue?"

Tears welled up in his eyes. Edward dropped his face in his hands again and cried, "Splaaaaaat…"

**Just a little later, in Coniniaue's room**

"Coniniaue! Are you okay?" The moment the doctor said he could, Edward burst into her room.

Of course. She was asleep.

"Brother, calm down!" Alphonse gently pushed him back into a chair next to Coniniaue's bed. "Wait until she wakes up."

Edward sighed. He glanced up at the doctor. "Where did it hit, Doc?"

"It pierced her skin next to the alchemic tattoo above her right breast." The doctor explained, putting on her glasses. "We have detected energy flowing from the tattoo. The force around it makes it so nothing can touch it, except Coniniaue herself, of course. A state alchemist such as you should know about blood seals in empty vessels? Well, her tattoo is like that. If it is touched, she will die."

"So… She can't die?"

"Oh, she can die. You see, she is not an empty vessel. Because she has things inside her—No blood, though—she is still considered human, and therefore, can age and die like yourself, sir."

"Ah. Coniniaue is a very complicated woman…"

(Bleh… Sorry. No fighting, but a little drama Eh, good enough, right? Don't worry, Ed will have a run-in with Dominique soon!)


	15. What the Hell?

**Chapter fifteen: What the Hell?**

Edward and Alphonse were by Coniniaue's side whenever they could. She remained asleep for the next two weeks, in a sort of coma. Of course, Roy said that it was just a silly bullet, she would live, and the brothers should get back to work. King Bradley, on the other hand, said that a close friend of the Elric brother's was hurt, and they should be able to stay until she is better.

Edward was sitting by Alphonse in the same chairs as before. Alphonse was asleep, but Edward lay awake, thinking. Who could have put that tattoo on Coniniaue? This was truly a way to become immortal. If he got one of those, then if someone chopped of his automail arm, and flesh one would grow back… Right? Nevertheless, SPLAT kept coming back to him.

"She was trying to shoot me, not you…" He muttered, staring at the ground. "Me…"

He was unaware Coniniaue had rolled over and was staring at him with wide eyes. "…What the Hell?"

Edward jumped. "Wha… Coniniaue! You're awake!"

"Hell yeah I'm awake. What is going on? Why do you look so sad? Buck up, pipsqueak, me getting shot won't kill me."

If it were any other situation, Edward would have pounced on her for calling him pipsqueak. Instead, he said, "You were asleep for two weeks, sometimes I thought you were dead."

Coniniaue sat up, grunting. "Ugh, Ed, I can't die until someone pierces my tattoo, didn't the doctor tell you?"

"That brings me to this: where did you get that tattoo, Coniniaue?"

"What? Oh. Umm…" She rubbed the back of her head with her left arm, because he right one was pretty useless with all the pain it would cause her. "I had it when my dad separated me and Dominique. Oh, no! They realized I have no blood! Don't make them take me to a laboratory!"

"They won't." Edward said. "King Bradley himself swore the doctors who saw you to secrecy."

"Under pain of…?"

"Death."

"Good…"

A nurse walked by at that very moment. "Oh! Coniniaue! You're awake! Don't sit up; it must irritate your shoulder. Your doctor told me to give you some medication. You need to sleep for a little while longer so we can finish operating."

Coniniaue just stared. "It took you people two weeks to operate?"

"Your insides are very complex, dear. Not at all what we're used to. Now, dear, swallow these." The nurse passed her two small white caplets.

"Oh, fine." Coniniaue popped them in her mouth and swallowed. Moments later she was twitching, a loopy grin on her face. "Hey, mom, tonight you're supposed to make pieeeeeeee… What's the point of having whipped cream without pieeeee?"

Edward sighed and looked at Alphonse. "I know how I can fix MY body, but we need to fix yours more…"

Alphonse sighed. "I know, brother. I know."


	16. Dreams

**Chapter sixteen: Dreams**

"Her heart rate is off the charts!"

"At least she's not dead! What the Hell is going on?"

"I don't know, brother! What could she be dreaming?"

**In the dream**

"Yeehehehehe! Splat!" Dominique squealed.

Coniniaue sat up in bed. "Dominique? What…?"

"Hehehe! I'm the one who shot you, Coniniaue!" She giggled. She hefted a big gun off her shoulder. "I'm going to finish you off today! Yeehehehehe!"

"No…" Coniniaue muttered. Dominique positioned the gun to shoot her tattoo. "No! Dominique! That will pierce the force field…!"

"I know! Yeehehehehe!"

Coniniaue's pupils shrank, and her heart beat like mad, which hurt her wound. Dominique's last bullet hadn't his her tattoo because she was too far away, but now she was standing at the foot of her bed… She couldn't miss… The force would break the energy around her tattoo…

"NO!"

Coniniaue woke up.

**Back with Ed and Al**

Coniniaue sat up, breathing hard, her heart pounding in her chest. She ran a hand through her bangs. "I'm still here…" She breathed.

"Coniniaue! Are you okay? What could you have been dreaming?" Edward asked urgently.

"I… I don't remember… But Dominique was there… And it was terrible…"

"Calm down, Coniniaue… It was just a dream, dreams can't hurt you."

The skin beneath Coniniaue's tattoo throbbed painfully. "Really…"

**(Sorry > This is so short... But it's a really neat chapter, so, forget about it )**


	17. Reality

**Chapter seventeen: Reality**

Coniniaue's eyes flickered open. It was dark, and Edward and Alphonse were asleep in the chairs beside her. She could hear voices out in the hall: Who was it…? It sounded like Denny Bloch, Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang. "What…" She began, but silenced herself.

"I don't trust her. She's like a homunculus!" Roy said to Denny.

_What did I ever do to you, Fireboy? _She thought.

"But she's not, Roy." Risa said. "She's a human being. Her insides are just different."

"Her entire body is different. Sure, it might look the same on the outside, but her healing rate… At this rate, her wound will seal up before we can even do the operation!" Denny exclaimed.

_My healing rate is just a little faster than humans…_

"You're exaggerating, Bloch. Coniniaue's healing rate is just a little faster than ours." Riza shot back. "If anything, she's better than us."

"Riza, I'm shocked." Roy commented. "That you would stand up for such a…"

"Monster?"

Coniniaue froze. _Monster._

"Exactly."

"She's not a monster. She is just like us!" Riza replied. "She's better than us. Better."

"Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Roy said in his colonel voice.

"Sir!" Riza saluted.

"I will have no more of this!"

Coniniaue sung her legs over the side of her bed. She clamped her left hand over her wound because it hurt so much. She walked to the door, still listening and undetected.

"She is a monster! A threat to the human race."

She paused at the door as Roy continued.

"Now listen up! Bloch! Hawkeye! We must do something about that whether we want to or not!"

Coniniaue opened the door. Roy had his back to her, but Bloch and Hawkeye froze.

"The president does not yet know of her bloodless state. If we tell him, she will cast from the military and put up in a laboratory. We are going to find out why she is how she is, and…"

He blinked as Coniniaue tapped his shoulder. There she stood, standing at about elbow height, her hospital gown falling off her right shoulder, where her hand was clamped over her wound. The fury in her eyes was unmatchable by even Mustang's fire gloves.

"Colonel…" She hissed.

Hawkeye shot Mustang a 'You are a true idiot' glare.

She said nothing. Coniniaue slapped her hands together and pressed them into the ground, making a curved wall around the door of her room. She made a small window and glared out at him. Instead of yelling, she spun on her heel and went back to bed. Edward was awake when she got back. "What…?"

"Shut up and go to sleep."


	18. The operation

**Chapter eighteen: The operation**

**Before the operation**

"Please, Coniniaue, let the doctors in." Edward pleaded. "I promise, I'll stand guard at the door and make sure to yell at Mustang!"

"No. Way."

"Coniniaue… Please."

"The wound will heal on its own! Leave me alone, Edward!"

"When the wound heals, your nerves won't connect right and your arm won't work! They need to fix it!"

"…Fine. Take down the wall."

Edward went to the door and took down the wall. Four doctors rushed in, as well as…

"WINRY?"

Winry flipped blonde hair behind her ears. "Hey, Ed!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to operate…"

"…Oh, no…"

**During the operation**

"GAH!"

"Coniniaue, hold still!"

"IT HURTS, DAMMIT! IT HURTS!"

"I know, I know! Just stop squirming… There! It's in, it's in!"

"OH MY GOD IT STILL HURTS!"

**In the hallway**

"AND ANOTHER THING MUSTANG YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF YOU INSULTED A TEENAGE GIRL DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT MUST FEEL?"

"No, Fullmetal, but…"

"BUT NOTHING! CONINIAUE IS MY FRIEND AND SHE WILL ALWAYS BE, MONSTER OR NOT! SHE IS NOT A HOMUNCULUS! SHE IS NOT A MONSTER! SHE IS A HUMAN BEING, DAMMIT!"

**After the operation**

The doctors filed out from the operation room. Edward and Alphonse darted in.

"CONINIAUE!" He shouted. Then, Edward just stared. "No… Coniniaue, no… They didn't…"

"They did." Coniniaue flexed her automail fingers. "The bullet his some vital nerve… They had to reconnect them and give me an automail arm, like you…"

Her tattoo was still visible, though.

"They couldn't go over the tattoo, it wouldn't let them." She explained. "That's why it doesn't go over my whole shoulder like yours."


	19. One month later

**Chapter nineteen: A month later**

Coniniaue's metal arm clanged off of Edward's as he guarded.

"Keep it up Coniniaue!" Edward urged. "You're almost done. This is the last day, I promise."

Both of them were dressed in white karate uniforms. "Last day, huh?" Coniniaue grunted, swinging a kick at him; that he blocked. "It'd better be. You said it was my last day two weeks ago."

Edward yawned. "Alright, we're done. It's late."

Coniniaue sighed. "Fine…" She reached back and pulled up her braid, pulling off the tie and letting her hair fall down her back.

Edward sat down, his eyes drooping. "Why don't you keep your hair down more often?"

"Because it gets in my eyes. Duh. Same reason you do."

"No, I keep it in a braid because it looks good."

"Ugh… You are such… A boy."

**Coniniaue's room**

Coniniaue sat in front of her mirror, running a brush through her thick red locks. She ran her fingers through her hair, checking for knots. "Boys." She muttered. "Always trying to look cute."

And naturally, through the wall, she heard, "I HEARD THAT!"

"OH SHUT UP YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!" She called back. "Edward…"

The locks of hair that framed her hair looked good in braids while the rest of her hair was let down. "Maybe I should consider leaving my hair down for once…"

**The next morning**

Coniniaue, of course, broke into the Elric's room through the window and sat on the coffee table. It was around 6:00 AM and, of course, Edward and Alphonse were asleep.

"WAKEY WAKEY!" She shouted. "WAKE UP, EDWARD! ALPHONSE!"

Edward fell out of bed. Alphonse just sat up. "Wha…" Alphonse rubbed his eyes. "Coniniaue, how did you get in…?"

She pointed. "Window."

Edward sat up, rubbing his head. "You look… Different."

Coniniaue ran her fingers through her hair. "I left my hair down for once. Like it?"

"Will you go out with me later?" Edward blurted out.

Coniniaue blinked. "You like it THAT much…?"

"Erm. Yup."

Coniniaue giggled, but Alphonse sighed. "Brother… You are so predictable…"


	20. Dating

**Chapter twenty: Dating**

**Central**

"Wanted me, Colonel?" Edward and Coniniaue poked their heads around the door.

"Yeah. Come in."

Both of them stood before his desk, Edward smartly at attention, Coniniaue leaning her weight on one leg and crossing her arms.

"Alright. You're report is good from Youswell, but there's not much inspection… Eh. You pass. Anyway, there's a big day next week. Know what it is?"

"Nope."

"The day you turn in your research."

"WHAT?" Coniniaue almost fell over. "You mean I have one week to gather up my research and send it in?"

"And I have to do the same thing! I actually have to write a report!" Edward sighed. "And that will take me all week, I can't go out with Coniniaue tonight, and…"

Coniniaue's metal arm bashed a little harder than gently into the back of his head. "You… Are an idiot…"

Roy chuckled. "A little young to date, aren't we?"

"Hey, I'm sixteen!" Edward complained.

Roy lifted his gaze to Coniniaue. "You let your hair down, didn't you?"

"Who are you, the expert on teenage girls?" She asked, sniffing.

"You could say that. Listen, just go out tonight and work on it tomorrow, simple." Roy laughed. "I've done that more than once."

**The date**

"Coniniaue, open up…" Edward knocked on her door. He wasn't dressed in anything special, he just didn't wear his red overcoat.

"I'm not ready! Just wait a second!" Coniniaue called. She put in big hoop earrings and got out her red eyeliner. She was dressed in a short, strapless red dress that went to her knees. Lacy red boots went halfway up her shins. Of course, she left her hair down. She put on her red eyeliner then delicately dabbed red lipstick on her lips. Just in case. **(Ooh!)**

"Come on, you said that ten minutes ago. Open up…!"

Coniniaue opened the door and stepped out. "Fine, fine! Happy?"

Edward's wide eyes stared. "Yup. Yeah. Okay. Let's go. Come on. Hurry up."

"Where are we going, Edward?" Coniniaue asked. Edward had led her to one of the richer parts of town. "Can you afford this stuff…?"

"Hell yeah. Hello, sixteen year old state alchemist!" Edward smiled. "Come on!" He dragged her into some random fancy restaurant.

He sat her at a table and sat across from her. "What do you want, Coniniaue?"

"Filet Mignon."

His eye twitched. "That's the most expensive thing on the menu…"

Coniniaue dropped her elbows onto the table and cupped her chin in her hands. She smirked. "You can't afford it?"

"I can SO afford it! It's only $49.99!"


	21. The little bloodless girl

**Chapter twenty-one: The little bloodless girl**

Gluttony chewed the finger of some random man thoroughly. He saw Edward and Coniniaue enter, so he turned to a woman and a cat next to him. "Envy! Lust! The Fullmetal boy is here, same with the Bloodless girl."

"What're THEY doing here?" Envy sniffed.

Lust carefully peered in through the skylight. "Oh, their on a date! How cute."

"A date? Hahaha!" Envy laughed. "I've always wondered what kind of girl would fall for the Fullmetal boy. Now I know; a bloodless girl."

"Oh, no!" Lust sighed. "The girl has an automail arm. It must have happened when she was shot. That will be a choppy ingredient. We can cut it off before we add her."

"Or we can just feed it to Gluttony and see if he can swallow it." Envy snickered.

"Metal taste bad!" Gluttony moaned.

"Whatever." Lust sneered. "Now Envy, go down with a gun and rob the place. We need to see what this bloodless girl is capable of!"

Coniniaue cut into her filet mignon, a bite sized piece popped into her mouth. She chewed quietly until she said, "Edward, can you stop staring at me?"

"Staring? Who's staring? Not me!"

"Shut up."

"Shutting up now."

There was a BANG, and Envy—disguised, of course—darted into the room. He shot his gun several times into the air and shouted, "Alright give me all the cash in the… Ouch!"

The pistol was still smoking in Coniniaue's hand. She had hidden two pistols in holsters on her thighs beneath her dress.

"Drop the gun, dammit!" She hissed.

"Ooh, I'm so scared of the little bloodless girl!" Envy sniggered, turning back to his usual form.

"Who the…"

Edward growled and was about the spring forward.

"Relax, Fullmetal boy." Lust dropped into the room. "We just want to see what your little bloodless friend can do."

Coniniaue shot Envy until her guns were out of bullets. "What…" She blinked, and raised her fists. "What are you?"

"A homunculus."

Envy dove at her, pinning her to the wall. His fingers wrapped around her throat and pushed her against the wall, while she squirmed.

"Coniniaue!" Edward called. He started to go to her but Lust's long nails cut him off.

"Your girlfriend can't die, so what's the point?"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Coniniaue's eyes squeezed shut tight. _Maybe I can die like this. _She thought. _Maybe homunculi and not humans can kill me._

Envy morphed into Edward. Coniniaue opened her eyes. "Ed… Edward?"


	22. Depression

**Chapter twenty-two: Depression**

"Edward, how…"

"Coniniaue, did you honestly think I would date you?" Envy replied in Edward's voice.

"I… I hoped." Coniniaue admitted, casting her eyes to the ground.

"Haha. Well, did you like our 'date?'" Envy asked in a snickering tone. "Don't worry, you'll be dead by tonight anyway."

"You idiot!" Coniniaue hissed. "You know how to kill me and it is not within your power."

"Oh, only one way?" Envy lifted his hand. "Hey Lust, there's only one way to kill her. And it's hard!"

"Oh, dear." Lust brought back her nails and Envy stepped back, turning back into Envy. Coniniaue collapsed to the floor, half unconscious.

"Coniniaue!" Edward dashed over and picked her up, grunting at the weight of her automail arm. He lifted his eyes to Envy and Lust, and now Gluttony, who had dropped in. "Why can't you homunculi just let me live my life in peace?" He asked angrily.

"Because you are a valuable sacrifice and it is our job to make you suffer as much as we can." Lust replied. "Envy, Gluttony. Let's go."

"Coniniaue! Coniniaue! Wake up…" Edward squeezed his eyes shut tight and held her close. _This is the second time I couldn't help her. _He thought. _There was the time Dominique shot her, and now this. Why is she always the target of all my enemies? Soon Scar is going to come for her, and I have to be ready..._

"Ed… Edward?" Coniniaue's eyes flickered open.

"Coniniaue? Are you okay?" He asked. Coniniaue draped her left arm over his shoulder.

"I… I'm fine. But Envy… He turned into you… And… It was just… Terrible…"

"It's okay, Coniniaue, it was just Envy. We have to be careful…"

She sat up. "Careful don't mean jack anymore. We need to be alert and ready for anything."

**((This chapter was a little confusing. This one and the one where Coniniaue gets her automail arm. You might be thinking, "Why the Hell is Edward worried? Coniniaue is physically immortal." Well, yes, she it, but if the wound penetrates a nerve or bone, it will hurt as it she did have blood. She can be choked, but she would only pass out, not die from it. The only ways Coniniaue can be hurt are**

**A)Getting choked, strangled, et cetera**

**B)A very deep wound**

**C)When the nerves connect… Like Edward, when the nerves connect for her metal arm and her human shoulder, it hurts as if Hell was rising and the sky was falling. 'Nuff said, right? XD))**


	23. Back at the hotel

**Chapter twenty-three: Back at the hotel**

Edward dropped Coniniaue onto her bed, after much reasoning with the maid to let him in. Coniniaue had fallen asleep half way back from the restaurant, so he had to carry her the whole way. 'Gently' wouldn't be the word to describe how he dropped her, but he figured, 'Hello, it's a bed, it's soft.' so he didn't really need to put her down gently.

"This sucks." He muttered. "All those homunculi do is shoot down every good thing in my life. Can't we just get away somewhere where they don't follow us?"

He looked at the sleeping Coniniaue and blinked. She wasn't awake, so she wouldn't know, right? She couldn't get mad and yell at him or something, right? He leaned down and planted a soft, quick kiss on her lips. When Edward was sure Coniniaue didn't wake up, he turned and left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

**Ed and Al's room**

"How was your date, brother?" Alphonse asked. He was playing with three or four cats.

"Terrible. We got attacked by Envy and Lust." He replied. "Coniniaue is a sacrifice, too…"

"Oh, no…"

"They still don't know how to kill Coniniaue. But killing me is as easy as cutting through hot butter with a knife." Edward sighed, sitting on his bed. "Oh, and those cats had better not jump on me while I'm asleep. I hate that."

"Okie dokie, brother."

**Coniniaue's room, midnight**

Coniniaue's eyes fluttered open. She had thought she had felt something on her lips several hours before. She sat up and looked at the wall that separated her room from Edward's.

…Nah. Could never happen. Back to sleep.


	24. Early morning mail

**Chapter twenty-four: Early morning mail**

Coniniaue, in her normal attire, crept through the Elric's window, again, and sat on their table.

"I DON'T THINK I NEED TO SAY IT TWICE THIS TIME! WAKE UP!"

"GAH!" Edward fell out of bed, again, but Alphonse just sat up.

"Good morning, Miss Coniniaue." Alphonse greeted. "Must you wake us up so early?"

Coniniaue took out her pocket watch and clicked it open. "I have… 7 AM!"

Edward looked at his own. "Same here. Aw man, we're late. Why didn't you wake us up earlier?"

"We're not late. We have to be there at 7:30 AM today." She said.

"Great. Half an hour to get dressed and junk like that.

**In the lobby**

"Any mail?"

"Yes, sir. You too, miss." The lady at the from desk handed them both matching envelopes.

"It's from… Lieutenant Havoc?" Edward tore the envelope open, as did Coniniaue.

"Aww…" Coniniaue smiled. "Havoc's getting married. That's sweet."

"Bleck. And we have to go?" Edward groaned.

"Oh shut up. We get free food, don't we?"

"I guess so… But I have to wear a tuxedo. Damn!"

"Yeah, well, I have to wear a dress, okay?" Coniniaue shot back.

"A dress? Hah! You wore one yesterday and it didn't seem to bother you!"

"Because it had open hips. This can't have open hips, so I can't get to my guns easy!"

"Oh yeah. Good point."

"Whereas you can hide anything under your coat."

"Yup."

"And I can trip on the hem."

"Yup."

"And…"

"OKAY! Dresses are worse! I get it!"

**((The evils of dresses XD))**


	25. The wedding

**Chapter twenty-five: The wedding**

Edward sat with his arms and legs crossed, grumbling. Coniniaue had insisted they take a taxi, because, it looked official. He was dressed in a black tux… He thought it would look better on a mongoose than him.

Coniniaue was dressed in a layered red dress with long sleeves. She wore gloves, just because her automail didn't look good in that particular dress. The dress swung at Coniniaue's knees, like most of her other dresses. She had pulled her hair up into a bun, letting several locks hang down.

Coniniaue came downstairs and got in the taxi. "There, are you happy? I'm done getting ready. We can leave now!"

"Finally… Alphonse is already there…"

**After the wedding, at the after party**

Coniniaue was sitting at a table, munching away at some random food. She blinked and glanced up. "Hey, Al. What's up?"

Alphonse sighed and sat down. "I'm a big suit of armor. No one will dance with me…"

"Oh, Al." She patted his hand. "That's sad. I'll dance with you if you want me to."

"No, that's okay, Coniniaue." Alphonse sighed. "I'm afraid I'll step on you."

"Ha, ha. Very funny." She muttered sarcastically.

"Why don't you go dance with Edward?" He asked. "He won't step on you, but you might step on him."

Coniniaue laughed. "Thanks, but… Fine." She glanced over at Edward; he was sitting at a long table, glaring at Mustang as the colonel chatted with Hawkeye.

She stood up and darted over to Edward standing behind him. She was not noticed. She lifted a delicate hand and brought it down on his shoulder, giggling. Edward sprang up.

"CONINIAUE!" He almost shouted. "Don't do that!"

"Do what? Sneak up behind you and rest my hand on your shoulder?"

"EXACTLY!"

Roy snickered and glanced up from Riza. Riza glared at Roy. "Don't…" She growled.

"Edward, why don't you go dance with Coniniaue?" Roy suggested.

"Roy…" Riza muttered, shaking her head.

"Erm, colonel, I don't…"

"That's a GREAT idea, sir!" Coniniaue exclaimed. She grabbed Edward's hand and raced off. "C'mon!"

"Coniniaue…" Edward sulked as he was dragged off. "Noo…"

Roy laughed. "Sometimes I do wonder about her."


	26. Dancing

**Chapter twenty-six: Dancing**

"Coniniaue, I'm telling you, I suck at dancing…" Edward groaned.

"NONSENSE!" Coniniaue stopped on the dance floor. "Alright. Here, you put your hands around my waist like this…" And so on. Edward stepped on Coniniaue's toes several times, for which he got slapped upside the head by Coniniaue.

And up came the waltz.

"Now take my hand like this…"

"Coniniaue, I know how to waltz.

Coniniaue blinked and stared at Edward. "You do?"

Edward spun her out and pulled her back in gracefully. "Yeah. My sensei actually made me practice…"

"Sensei?"

"Her name is Izumi. She was really cool, but a little strict. She lives in Dublith with her husband and runs a butcher shop."

"I never had a teacher. I taught myself." Coniniaue replied.

"Really?" Edward dropped her into a dip. "That's really hard isn't it?"

"Yeah." Coniniaue came back up and spun around. "I mean, you have to look through textbooks for hours until you get something right."

"Didn't your father help at all?"

"I started alchemy after he died."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay."

"So, how did you discover telepathic alchemy?"

"Well you see, I was wondering if I could help myself learn easier. Because alchemy goes so fast, I began to wonder if you could slow it down to see how it works."

"'To see how it works…' Like a mechanic?"

"Huh?"

"Well, Winry always like to take apart stuff to see how it works and to try to merge it into some kind of automail."

"Really? I guess that sounds logical. She could probably take apart some doll and maybe remodel the joints into a sort of automail."

"I guess so."

"Winry sounds like a really nice girl."

"Yeah…"

"Do you like her, Edward?"

Edward froze. "Coniniaue, what…"

"Do you?" She demanded.

"I… Yeah." Edward looked at the floor. "She's been my friend for so long, I know everything about her… She's pretty, and smart, and she has a great personality."

Coniniaue said nothing. She just blinked and sighed. "I don't feel so good… I'm going back to the hotel."

"I'll take you back…"

"No, no. Stay and have a good time.

When Coniniaue left, Edward went back to his chair. "She's sad…"

Roy put an arm around his shoulders. "You have so much to learn, Fullmetal."


	27. Despair

Chapter twenty-seven: Despair

"Coniniaue?" Edward said. He knocked on her door. "You okay?"

A sniffle replied, followed by a groan. "Go awaaaaay…" Coniniaue rolled over on her bed, her tears soaked up in her pillow.

"Coniniaue, I'm sorry, I didn't think you would be so upset…" he opened the door and peeked around it.

"I said GO AWAY!" She shouted, glaring. Her hair was back up in a braid and she had just disappeared into her bathroom, her dress draped over her bedpost. The bathroom door slammed shut and the shower turned on.

Edward went inside and sat next to the closed door, grumbling. "Coniniaue, I'm sorry! I didn't know you would react like this."

The curtain slid back and Coniniaue stepped inside.

"Winry… She's more of my mechanic. I think she's amazing, but her life is no where near as cool as yours."

Coniniaue opened her shampoo bottle and squeezed some onto her hand.

"I mean… You're half of a superhuman chimera. So maybe I do like Winry. But maybe I like you much more."

Coniniaue slicked the shampoo down her braid and rubbed it in.

"I mean, you never know! I've never even kissed Winry, I never even told her how I feel."

Coniniaue dipped her braid under the flow of water.

"I kissed you a couple days ago… You were asleep. I'm sorry, I sound like a pervert."

Coniniaue turned off the water and pulled a towel around her.

"The truth is, Coniniaue, to me, you're more than a partner…"

Coniniaue leaned against the door.

"Coniniaue, I love you."

Coniniaue held a towel around her and opened the door. "Sweet, Edward, but you have known Winry much longer and you deserve her. She's smart, and she's pretty, and you would go perfect together. Now get out of my room before I call the front desk."

Edward just stared at her.

"And stop staring at me with those big gold eyes." She growled.

Edward stood up and just left. Without another word.

((Heartbreak… ;; How sad. But I'm not done with Coniniaue and Edward! Rubs hands together evilly))


	28. Heartbroken

**Chapter twenty-eight: Heartbroken**

"HEY YOU!"

Coniniaue's eyes fluttered open. "What the Hell…?" Standing on her chest was a foot-tall version of… Herself.

"I'm you! So clean the muck out of your ears and pay attention!" The mini-version squeaked.

"Is this a dream…?"

"I dunno, hit yourself and find out!" The mini version shouted. "NOW LISTEN! Coniniaue Tommy, you are an IDIOT! How could you say that to Edward?"

"Well, he broke my heart. Is that enough for you?" Coniniaue growled.

"No, it ain't! You love him, Coniniaue. You love him. And just like that…" The mini Coniniaue snapped her fingers. "You broke his heart."

"But he broke mine…"

"We're you even paying attention to what he said? All you were doing is thinking, 'I hate him.' Idiot, idiot, IDIOT! Go make up with him. Now!"

"But it's three in the morning…"

"DO IT!"

Coniniaue was sitting on Edward's chest, cross-legged. And he was still asleep. Weird, yes? Yes.

"Edward?"

Edward mumbled something in his sleep.

"Ed?"

The same mumble.

"YO EDWARD! I'M TALKIN' TA YOU!"

"Wha?" Edward blinked and opened his eyes. "Coniniaue?" His eyes narrowed. "Why are you sitting on me?"

"Because the coffee table broke. Now shut up and listen."

"Coniniaue…"

"Shut up! I… I'm sorry, about earlier. I was being a bitch. I'm real sorry. Really…"

Edward sat up, making Coniniaue slip off and sit on his legs. "Coniniaue, you broke my heart. And I'm sorry I broke yours. I didn't know how you would react, and I didn't know you liked me so much."

"So… We're even?"

"You could say that. Now, um…" He blinked. "You're still sitting on me."

"Oh, yeah." She hopped off. "Sorry… So um, can we go out later? Our last date was killed by Lust and Envy…"

"Sure. I just hope they don't trash this like they did the other one. Um… Wear the same dress."

"…Fine. You just like staring at me don't you?"

"Maybe."


	29. Dublith

**Chapter twenty-nine: Dublith**

"Roy… You are… A… Bastard…" Edward said shortly.

"Don't insult your betters, Fullmetal." Roy replied.

"HIS BETTERS? ALL YOU ARE IS A SCUMMY IDIOT OF A COLONEL!" Coniniaue shouted. "Oh, and you're in love with Hawkeye!"

"I… I am not!" Roy replied, flushing red.

"I'll tell her you are…"

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"I'll tell everybody you have no blood."

"GAH!" Edward couldn't hold it anymore. "HOW CAN YOU SEND ME TO DUBLITH? I WAS GOING TO GO OUT WITH CONINIAUE AGAIN!"

Again, Coniniaue's metal hand bashed into the back of his head. "Idiot."

"You're just using that as an excuse. Now, you're going to Dublith!"

"I am not! We were really going out tonight!"

"Um, Edward? Why don't we just go out in Dublith?" Coniniaue suggested.

"…Fine."

**Izumi's house**

"Hello, sensei!" Edward called. "Are you in? I have someone I want you to meet!"

Izumi, a bottle of sake clutched in her hand, walked out into the main room. "Edward?" She mumbled. "What the Hell are you doing here?"

"Colonel Mustang sent me to inspect. Y'know, look for Scar and junk like that." Edward explained. "This is my best friend, Coniniaue!"

Izumi just stared at her for a minute. "The colonel let you bring your girlfriend?"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! Coniniaue is my partner!"

Coniniaue nodded and held up her watch. "I'm a state alchemist."

"Oh. Like Edward?" Izumi asked.

"Yeah."

"Transmute something."

"What?"

"Show me what you can do."

"Alright. I'll need a cat and a dog."

Edward returned to Coniniaue with a Black Labrador and a devon rex. "Are these good?"

"Yeah. Put them down."

The dog and the cat sat down next to each other, blinking at Coniniaue. Coniniaue took in a gulp of fresh air, slapped her hands together, and put them on the ground.


	30. The space ship

**Chapter thirty: The space ship**

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"MISHOSHI!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! We were just going to visit Jurai, I didn't know…"

"IT'S ALL WASHU'S FAULT!"

"I didn't know my teleportation device would malfunction! I didn't know it would deplete the ships fuel either!"

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"We're falling! Eek! Tenchi!"

KABOOM!

Coniniaue was about to put the cat and dog together when Mihoshi's space ship crashed. Of course, Edward and Coniniaue sprang up and dashed out to see smoke billowing from a field far away. When they got to the edge of the town, Edward turned around and flashed his pocket watch, yelling, "STAY BACK! Military personnel only!"

Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami, Mihoshi, Tenchi and Washu sat on the grass, Sasami going around to bandage wounds. That was when Edward and Coniniaue showed up.

"What the Hell is that?" He exclaimed, pointed at the space ship. Ryo-oh-ki turned back into cuddly form, jumping to Ryoko.

Ryoko glanced up, and for a split second, she was completely over Tenchi. "Hey there, cutie!" She waved at Edward.

"Erm… Hi. Now what the hell is going on?"

Coniniaue knelt down by Ayeka, staring at her. "You look familiar…"

"'Scuse me, sir…" Washu tapped Edward's shoulder. "Um, what year is it?"

"1910."

Washu almost fell over. "19…10? Are you serious?"

"It'll be 1911 in a few months…"

Ryoko sprang up, her sword coming into her hand and pointed at Edward. "You'd better not be lying…"

Coniniaue dashed over and stood in front of Edward. "He's not."

"I still don't believe it…" Ryoko muttered.

"Believe it, girly." Coniniaue hissed. "It's 1910. Nineteen freakin' ten."

Ryoko rose her sword and chopped down on Coniniaue.

_Fzzt._

The sword cut through Coniniaue's shirt and slammed into her metal arm. Ryoko's eyes widened. "Wha…?"

Coniniaue tore off her sleeve, revealing her automail arm. "Surprised?"

"Hell yeah…"

Of course, Washu dashed over and looked at the arm. "Why, this is very old robotics, but it works so well! Who…"

"Um, Winry Rockbell…" Coniniaue muttered, as Washu looked over her arm. "My mechanic, Edward's girlfriend."

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Edward shouted.

"What did she mean…" Ayeka mumbled to herself, staring at Coniniaue.


	31. Roy meets the girls

**Chapter thirty-one: Roy meets the girls**

"Ehh…"

A sweat drop fell down the side of Roy's head as Edward and Coniniaue brought in the girls and Tenchi.

"Fullmetal, who…?" Roy muttered.

"I'm Ryoko." Ryoko said.

"I'm Sasami!"

"I'm Mihoshi!"

"I'm Washu."

"I'm Tenchi."

"And I'm Ayeka!" Ayeka flashed her pearly teeth.

Edward rubbed the back of his head. "Y'see, they kinda fell out of the sky…"

"Beautiful women don't just fall out of the sky, Fullmetal."

"AHEM!"

"And one man." Roy said. "Sorry. Umm… Well, I'm colonel Roy Mustang, pleased to meet you. Erm, where exactly did you come from?"

"We came from the year 2005." Washu replied.

"That's…" Roy calculated quickly.

"Ninety-five years from now." Washu said.

"…Yeah. How did you calculate so fast? Are you some kind of genius?"

"I'm an evil genius. And there's living proof right here!" She reached up and put a hand on Ryoko's shoulder.

"Don't touch me." Ryoko muttered.

"Ryoko is an artificially created life form, the strongest space pirate in the universe."

"ARTIFICIALLY CREATED?" Edward shouted. "Like… Like a homunculus?"

"Well, no… I used my ovum, so technically, she's my daughter."

Edward hung his head and explained to Washu why he tried human transmutation and asked if she could possibly save him and his brother.

"You have metal limbs too? Let me see!"

And, of course, Edward was standing there in his boxers while Washu examined his leg.

Coniniaue stared and giggled. Edward looked up at her and flushed red, saying hastily, "Can we do this some other time?"

"Hell no!" Washu exclaimed. "Well, these limbs certainly are advanced for 1910. They didn't even have metal limbs in the 1910 I know! But the human transmutation incident did not kill you. 'That which does not kill you makes you stronger.'"

"Wait a second, how old are you, anyway, like sixteen?" Edward asked. "How are you so smart?

"I TOLD you, I'm a evil super genius! And I'm not sixteen, I'm over 20,000 years old." Washu replied.

"I'm 700." Ayeka chimed in. "Ryoko's 800."

"…It doesn't matter how old they are, if their pretty, I can hit on them!" Roy mumbled to himself.


	32. Ryoko

**Chapter thirty-two: Ryoko**

"This is the inn you'll be staying at." Edward stopped in front of the inn. "Sasami can share a room with Ayeka, Mihoshi can have her own room, and Ryoko can stay with Washu…"

"No way!" Ryoko lifted off the ground, floating. "I'll sleep on the roof, thanks!" With that, she flew onto the roof. Edward, of course, was shocked.

"Aliens, Edward." Washu explained with a single word. "She's an alien. We all are."

"Hey, are you okay?" Edward walked up behind Ryoko, who was sitting on the edge of the inn.

"I'm fine. I'm just surprised that we're all the way back in 1910! No electronics, no sake, no boys…"

"Ahem."

"Oh. I mean no cute boys."

"AHEM!"

"Sorry."

Edward sat next to her. "I know 1910 isn't exactly what you are used too, but there are tons of things to do for fun."

"Hah. Like what?"

Coniniaue peeked over the trap door, watching them secretly.

"Alchemy! Watch." Edward slapped his hands together and put them on the ground. A stone rose lifted from the building. "See?"

"Wow! What's alchemy?" Ryoko asked, plucking the rose from the building.

"Alchemy is a mix of art, magic, and science. The base rule of alchemy is equivalent exchange; that means mankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return…"

Coniniaue watched. What the Hell? Edward never gave her a stone rose…

"Neat. So, um, why do you have metal limbs?" Ryoko asked.

Of course, Edward explained the human transmutation incident again.

"Oh…" Ryoko blinked. "And that girl… Coniniaue, why does she have a metal limb?"

Edward explained, but he left out how Coniniaue became bloodless. Her sister, the gun, the bullet, her arm…

"That's just terrible." Ryoko got a mischievous look in her eyes. "You like her, don't you?"

Edward blushed. "I… I do not!"

"You do too! I can tell how you stare at her."

"I do not!"

Ryoko just stared at him, a knowing look on her face.

"I… I do like her. She's amazing, she's wonderful. She's much better than Winry. Her life is so interesting, so dramatic…"

"Tell her what you're telling me. Haha, let's hear Ayeka say I'm a useless freeloader now!"


	33. A smile and a kiss

**Chapter thirty-three: A smile and a kiss**

What happened next was the best thing that had ever happened to Edward Elric, Fullmetal alchemist. Coniniaue ran up, flung her arms around his neck and kissed him.

This surprised Edward, but not Ryoko. She just smiled and imagined she and Tenchi in the same situation. Then she had the sudden urge to watch Tenchi sleep and imagine what he must be dreaming about. (Though tonight Tenchi was dreaming of a giant dumpling, but oh well.)

"So I guess we're together now, right?" Edward asked.

"… Crap. If the colonel finds out about this…"

"Who's going to tell him?"

They both glared at Ryoko, who detached her mouth from a bottle of sake and said, "Hey, I'm not THAT mean of a space pirate."

"Hey, Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go shopping tomorrow?"

"…Oh, no…"

**Tomorrow**

"Eek! Haha! Ed? Can you buy me this?"

Edward sighed. "Sure, Coniniaue… Sure…"

"And can you buy this for Ayeka?"

"Sure…"

"And…"

"ALRIGHT!" Edward turned around and sat down at a table at a café. "Take my wallet, Coniniaue, and go shop. I am staying RIGHT HERE!"

"So am I." Tenchi sat down across from him. "I hate shopping."

Coniniaue snatched Edward's wallet and ran off, Ayeka, Ryoko, Sasami and Mihoshi trailing behind her.

"That Coniniaue is almost as strange as the alien girls I live with…" Tenchi commented, shaking his head.

"Huh, you're telling me? I work with her." Edward replied.

"I work at my grandfather's shrine." Tenchi replied.

Edward watched the girls disappear around the street. "I work with the military. I hate having to listen to Colonel Mustang, but I have to."

Coniniaue and the girls sat down at a café the next street over. Like the girls they were, the decided to show each other what they bought. Coniniaue stared at Ayeka, wondering. _Where have I seen her face?_ She thought. _Where?_

"Coniniaue?"

Ryoko, Mihoshi, and Sasami paused, and looked at Coniniaue. Ayeka tilted her head to one side. "What are you doing?"

Coniniaue was still staring at Ayeka. She reached out and thumped her finger into Ayeka's forehead.

FLASH! THUMP!

"Coniniaue!"


	34. Memories

**Chapter thirty-four: Memories**

"She passed out AGAIN?" Edward muttered. Ryoko had flown back and brought Edward and Tenchi. Edward picked her up and turned back to the hotel.

"Oh, that's so cute!" Ryoko cooed. "Tenchi, carry me!"

"Gah! Ryoko!"

Ayeka hit Ryoko with a Japanese paper fan. "Stop doing that!"

Coniniaue opened her eyes and sat up. "Eh?" Surround her bed was Washu, Sasami, Mihoshi, Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka, and even Ryo-oh-ki, in her human child form. Edward sat next to her on the edge of her bed. "Coniniaue, are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." She rubbed her head.

"What happened?" Ayeka asked. "You poked my forehead and passed out…"

Coniniaue blinked. "Oh, yeah. Well when I poked you I saw all this stuff in my head and passed out. I guess it was all too much."

"It was like amnesia!" Washu said in that knowing, annoying tone. "When you touched the kin of Jurai, you remembered everything from your past life."

"'Past life?' I didn't think scientists believed in that junk…"

"I'm a evil genius. I'm different. ANYWAY!"

* * *

-Fangirls swarm Ed- Fangirls: WE LOVE YOU EDWARD ELRIC!

Coniniaue: -Jealous- Why do you get so many fans?

Edward: -Under swarms of fangirls- Because I'm hot! You know that!

Coniniaue: If you have fangirls, I WANT FANGUYS! -Drops match and sets fire to a dead chicken in the middle of a star in a circle- Arise, ARISE FANGUYS! -Is swarmed by fanguys- GAH!

(I do not own Robot Chicken! ((The chicken and star thing was in the sketch with the evil pumpkin and Charlie Brown)))


	35. Coniniaue's fury

**Chapter thirty-five: Coniniaue's fury**

Everyone watched intently as Washu sipped from a bottle of sake. "WASHU!" Edward snatched the bottle. "Tell me what's going on!"

"Well, obviously, Coniniaue is from Jurai!" Washu replied. "When someone does not know they are from Jurai, when they touch the kin of the king, they will remember everything about their past lives on Jurai. When people from Jurai are killed, they are recreated to live here. Like Tenchi."

"But I didn't have such a flash of memories when I touched Ayeka, or Sasami." Tenchi started.

"That's because they TOLD you first." Washu cut in. "If they tell you first you don't get the flash."

"I… I remember a boy…" Coniniaue muttered. "Who…?"

"I thought I recognized you!" Washu exclaimed. "You are from the royal family, Ayeka and Sasami's cousin. I saw your hair and I just remembered you."

"Cousins?" Sasami asked. "We have a cousin our age?"

"Well, very distant cousin. Remember, I'm 20,000 years old so I know this stuff. Coniniaue's family died when Coniniaue refused to marry her fiancé and have children. This probably happened… In the late 1800s, before you died. You think someone would remember you."

"I'm from Jurai…?" Coniniaue asked. "You mean… I have like… Powers?"

"Yeah. You have to get angry enough."

"What?" Coniniaue fumed. "Angry ENOUGH? You'd think after years of fighting off my sister I'd have been angry enough!"

"You didn't say anything about your sister yet…"

"Shut up!" Coniniaue replied. She curled her legs up to her chest and hugged them, crying into her knees. "I don't want to be from Jurai! I'm so weird as it is! I have a metal arm, I have no blood or distinguishing marks, it's all too much! My life sucks!"

"Coniniaue…" Edward put an arm around her. "Calm down, it's okay…"

"No, it's not!" Coniniaue shouted. Her fist clenched, but when she opened it, there was a small ball of red energy.

Ryoko, being the strong girl she was, plucked the energy ball from Coniniaue's hand and examined it. "You've awaken your powers, Coniniaue…"

"I don't want any powers!" Coniniaue replied. "I have alchemy!"

"Alchemy isn't nearly as powerful as Jurai magic." Ayeka explained. "Jurai magic reacts to emotions. You cannot use it when you are happy, but when you get angry enough, you can use it to your heart's content. Jurai powers include energy blasts, levitation, and a bunch of other stuff. We just need to practice with your powers a little…"

"No!" Coniniaue sprang up and jumped out her window, landing below. "If you want to make me practice, you're going to have to find me!"

"Dominique!" Coniniaue called throughout the town. "Dominique! Where are you?"

Suddenly she was pulled into an alley. Dominique, smirking, was dressed in the same outfit as Coniniaue. "I thought you'd need me."


	36. Mirror Image

**Chapter thirty-six: Mirror image**

"Oh, damn." Edward scratched the back of his head. Standing before him, leaning on two sides of the alley, were two Coniniaues.

The first Coniniaue giggled. "If you want to train my Jurai powers,"

"You're going to have to select the correct one!"

"Double damn." He looked at both of them. They were both exactly alike in every way. Erm…Coniniaue has… No. Coniniaue's arm is… No."

Mihoshi popped up. "Let me try!" The ditzy police officer said. "Erm… Never mind."

Ryoko scratched her head. "Hm. The Coniniaue I know is in love with Edward…"

Both Coniniaue's fumed and glared at her. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE!" They both shouted.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."

"Let me see!" Washu popped up with a magnifying glass. She close examined each Coniniaue, much to their demise.

"Erm. Um. Yes." Washu fell into a state of gloom. "Their both exactly, undeniably, the same!"

"GAH!" Ayeka also fell into a state of gloom. "This is terrible! How can we find the right one now?"

Edward had been thinking the whole time. "I know…" He smirked and said, "Splat."

One Coniniaue's eye twitched. "Sp…sp…splat?" Her eyes widened and she pulled out a strange gun. "BODIES GO SPLAT! SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLAT!"

"And that is how you find which Coniniaue is which." Edward concluded smartly.

Washu started to sulk. "The greatest genius in the universe, and I can't even find out which person is which…"

Ryo-oh-ki tugged on the real Coniniaue's hand. "Mreow!" She mewed.

Coniniaue looked down at Ryo-oh-ki. "Oh, Ryo-oh-ki, you are so cute when you're a little human girl…" She knelt down and stroked Ryo-oh-ki's hair.

Ryo-oh-ki smiled. "Mreow!"

"Can you turn into anything else?" Coniniaue asked, standing up.

Ryo-oh-ki beamed. "Mreow!" She poofed, and there stood the adult Ryo-oh-ki. Edward stared. "Um… Wow."

Ryo-oh-ki took one step and tripped, poofing back to her kid size. "Mreow…"

"Ryo-oh-ki can't walk well in adult form." Sasami explained, helping her up.

"Anyway… Coniniaue, coming from Jurai isn't all bad. That means you can have Sasami cook for you for free and she's a great cook!" Ryoko smiled. She glared at Ayeka. "Unlike Ayeka, who tries to kill everyone with her cooking."

"Oh, and I supposed drinking sake all day is good for you?"

"To me. Hello, it is beyond earth's technology to destroy me, I can't die of liver poisoning or something. My healing system will just fix it right up!" Ryoko shot back.

"At least I wasn't created by an evil genius!"

"At least I'm not a stuck-up princess!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"


	37. Dominique

**Chapter thirty-eight: Dominique**

"Beyond Earth's technology?" Dominique repeated. Everyone had forgotten she was here. And now, they all turned to look at her. Dominique raised her gun, an insane look in her eye. "Then I'll just kill you and kill you until you die! Yeehehehehe!"

She shot at Ryoko, and Ryoko dodged. "Why you…" Ryoko mumbled, angry. She made her laser sword and flew at Dominique, slashing the air in anticipation. Dominique raised a knife from nowhere and plunged it into Ryoko's heart. Ryoko tumbled off of her, half unconscious.

"Ryoko!" Ayeka dashed to her rival's side, Sasami and her medical kit behind her. She glared up at Dominique. "You monster!"

Washu checked Ryoko's pulse. "She'll be fine, if anyone is listening…" She muttered.

"Monster hardly describes me! Yeehehehehe!" Dominique giggled. The gun and now poised on Ayeka. "What fun! So many people to kill! Such little time! And that Ryoko person! Yeehehehehe! A playmate for life!"

"Play?" Ayeka fumed. "PLAY? You really ARE a monster! To kill with not a hint of remorse or regret!"

"I killed my sister once and I can kill her again." Dominique glared at Coniniaue. Her insane moment was over, but it would only take moments for it to return. "Or, I must say, daddy killed you."

"If daddy killed me then he killed you too." Coniniaue hissed. "Donna."

Dominique's eyes flashed and her pupils shrank. Her eyes turned a purplish color and she reached out. "Connie…"

Coniniaue's eyes turned a bright green. "Donna…" She too reached out. But the moment they were about to touch, Dominique shook her head and pulled back, hefting her gun. "At this range, I cannot miss! I can break that stupid energy field once and for all! Yeehehehehe!"

A gun was shot into the air, and it was not Dominique's. Lieutenant Hawkeye stood next to Roy, who said, "That's enough, Dominique."

Dominique blinked. She holstered her gun and hopped off onto the rooftops before anyone could catch her.

Edward looked at the two, overjoyed. "Colonel! Lieutenant!"

"Yeah, yeah. We heard all the commotion and wondered what was going on." Roy replied. "You'd better take the alien girls back to the inn before something worse happens. And Miss Washu, you should bring Ryoko back and seal that wound."

"Good idea, colonel." Edward put a hand on Coniniaue's shoulder. "Coniniaue? Come on…"

Coniniaue was staring after Dominique. "Oh. Right. Coming!"


	38. Eloping

**Chapter thirty-nine: Eloping**

Edward knocked on Coniniaue's door. "Hey, can I come in?"

"Sure." Coniniaue was sitting on her bed in her pajamas, a small table and a stack of papers in front of her.

Edward opened the door. "What are you doing?"

"Writing."

"Well, I'm really bored…" He smiled. "And I bought you something earlier."

"Ooh! What?" She was suddenly interested. Edward fell to one knee and held out a small box. He opened it, revealing the dazzling diamond ring inside. "Coniniaue Tommy, will you marry me?"

Coniniaue blinked. "Edward, I'm sixteen…"

"So am I! I'm sure of this! Coniniaue, I will never love a girl as much as I love you, and I don't want to lose you…"

Coniniaue just stared at him. "Edward, I… Yeah. Sure. I'll marry you…"

"YES!" Edward put the ring on her finger. "I promise, after the wedding we'll have a big party, invite everyone we know, but I want to shove it in colonel Mustang's face, so he can't know about the wedding yet… Haha! YES!"

**After the wedding, two days later**

"Fullmetal!" Roy glared at Edward across his desk. "Where have you been the last two days?" He hadn't noticed the matching rings on the two alchemist's fingers…

"Oh, here and there…" Edward smiled, looking at Coniniaue.

"And where have YOU been, Bloodless?" He growled.

"Wherever Edward was." She smiled as well.

"I have no choice but to take away from your salaries…"

"You're just jealous I got married before you." Edward blurted. Coniniaue smiled and giggled.

"What the Hell are you talking about, Fullmetal?" Colonel Roy Mustang asked, casting his eyes over the two alchemists.

"I got married to Coniniaue two days ago."

"That's impossible!" He replied. "You're only sixteen, and you need permission from your guardians."

"Well, I have no parents, and neither does Coniniaue. So we act as our own guardians." He held up his hand, the golden ring flashing in the sunlight. Coniniaue held up her hand with the matching ring as well.

Roy just blinked and stared. He slowly laid his head on his desk. "A sixteen year old boy got married before I did. Damn."

**((XD sorry, fangirls. Edward got married! I'M DEVESTATED TOO!))**


	39. Sasami

**Chapter forty: Sasami**

"EEK!" Ryoko hopped into Tenchi's arms as Coniniaue and Edward walked in.

"Ryoko…" Tenchi whined. "What is it?"

"Coniniaue and Edward are MARRIED!"

The alchemists fumed. "RYOKO!"

"I just noticed your fingers." She explained. Ayeka hit her with a Japanese fan, fuming. "Don't leap into Mr. Tenchi's arms like that…"

"Aww, that's so cute!" Mihoshi cooed.

"Mreow!" Ryo-oh-ki mewed.

"How old did you say you were again?" Washu asked, curious. "Sixteen? Isn't that illegal?"

"Not if you're orphans like us!" Edward beamed.

"I'm an orphan, does that mean I can marry Tenchi?"

"RYOKO! What about Washu?"

"I can MAKE myself an orphan." Ryoko proclaimed, leering at Washu evilly. "It would be easy!"

"Oh, yes." Washu pulled out a thick bundle of papers. "I have chosen Edward Elric and Coniniaue Tom… Coniniaue Elric to take care of us as long as we are in this era. These are pull descriptions of Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami, Mihoshi, myself, Tenchi and Ryo-oh-ki. I made these because I thought you should know about us; I promise you that when we are safe at home in 2005, you will be aloud to release this to the public and allow your scientists to try and make a time machine, or go into space to find Jurai. Thank you!"

Ryoko stared at Washu. "Just then you sounded like one of those cheesy accountants…"

"I can and might just reopen that knife wound." Washu threatened.

Sasami popped in at that very moment. "Mr. And Mrs. Elric? They won't let me in the kitchens, and I want to help! Can you get me in?"

"I'll tell you what, Sasami," Edward began, smiling. "I'll get you a job in the mess hall down at the office. The food there sucks, and we need a woman's touch."

Sasami squealed. "Eek! Thank you, Mr. Elric!" _He is so awesome!_ She thought.

"No problem, Sasami."

**At the office**

"This is Sasami, my friend's sister." Edward said, He gave Sasami a gentle push forward. "She'll be helping out in the kitchen. Alright?"

The cook looked down at little Sasami. "This little girl…?"

"Yes, that little girl! And I expect her a full paycheck, or you're fired!" Edward threatened.

"Sir, yes sir!" The cook said hastily.

"No, no, no!" Sasami was immediately sipping the soup he was making. "You need softer ingredients!" She tossed him three large carrots. "Please cut these into bite-size pieces. And you!" She pointed to another cook. "Start making Japanese noodles. I'll start making chicken. We're having chicken noodle soup for lunch tomorrow!"

Edward smiled. _She's so into it… She's a cute little girl. Now I have to get jobs for everyone else for the time they are here…_


	40. Jobs

**Chapter forty: Jobs**

"You want to get us jobs?" Ryoko asked, lounging on a sofa. Edward had called everyone for a meeting in his room except Sasami, who was off cooking and Coniniaue, who was reading the reports Washu gave them.

"Yeah." Edward replied. He put down a sheet of paper with all their names on it in crude handwriting.

"Washu, I thought you could help out at one of the research laboratories." Edward began. "They like to study alchemy, technology, anything scientific."

"Sounds like my kind of job!" Washu rubbed her hands together eagerly.

"Ryoko, I thought you could get sponsored as a karate fighter." Edward glanced up at her.

"Nah. Boring!" She muttered.

"Eh… Bartender?"

That caught her attention. "Do I get free beer?"

"Always."

"I'm in."

"Mihoshi, I thought you could join the police force, because you are a police officer after all."

"Sounds good…"

"Ayeka, I didn't exactly find a job for you, yet… But Coniniaue told me after reading your pages of Washu's report that you are a good swimmer… Um… Can you find your own job? I'm sorry, but…"

"Sure, Mr. Elric." Ayeka smiled. "I could be a maid or something…"

"Tenchi, Coniniaue said you work in the fields?"

"Yes."

"Work at a grocery store. Free groceries!"

"Alright…"

"Mreow?" Ryo-oh-ki tugged on the bottom of Edward's red jacket. Edward looked down at her and pet her head. "Sorry, Ryo-oh-ki. There aren't many jobs for kids out there… Maybe you can help Tenchi. Be a little girl who helps people find what they need. Just… Don't meow."

"Mreow!" Ryo-oh-ki smiled


	41. Coniniaue the cat

**Chapter forty-one: Coniniaue the cat**

"So where are you taking me, Edward?" Coniniaue asked. Edward had come in that morning, told her to get dressed, and dragged her out of the inn.

Edward tightened his grip on her wrist. "You'll see, you'll see!"

"If you squeeze any harder you'll cut my hand off."

"Sorry, but it's THAT important."

Edward pulled her through some bushes and smiled. "Tada!"

Coniniaue gasped. Before them was a lovely waterfall that tumbled down forty-one (Haha) feet into a pool of clear, deep water below. "Edward, it's beautiful…"

"Yeah, isn't it? I found it while Alphonse and I were chasing a cat because it peed on my bed. They're sacred waters so we're not allowed to swim in it."

"Says who?" Coniniaue took off her shirt and dove off the waterfall in her sports bra. Edward glanced after her, eyes wide. _Oh, no. She'd better not be caught…_

Coniniaue hit the water with a small splash. She surfaced and paddled out, crawling onto the edge. Edward was beside her shortly. "Coniniaue, what are you thinking, why… Oh my God."

"Huh? What?" Coniniaue looked up at him. "Did you get taller?"

Coniniaue was a cat. She had white-gray fur, but she still had flaming red hair tied in a braid that laid down her back, that was arched to shake off water. Two small fangs poked out from the sides of her mouth. "Wha…" She looked down at her furry chest and front paws. "OH MY GOD! I'M A FREAKING CAT!"

* * *

Coniniaue: -Angry- You made me a CAT?

Areku: -Shrugs- Sorry, I needed mystery and weirdness.

Coniniaue: But a CAT? Couldn't you have made me a fox or something?

Areku: If I made you a fox it would be too Inuyasha-y, same thing with a dog...

Coniniaue: What about a pig? A cute little piggy!

Areku: Ranma 1/2, Ryouga...

Coniniaue: DAMN! I'd better be a freaking cute cat!

Areku: You get to sleep with Edward...

Coniniaue: I like this idea Don't you fans out there like this idea? DON'T YOU?


	42. I saw this in a comic once!

**Chapter forty-two: I saw this in a manga once!**

Washu looked at Coniniaue through a magnifying glass. "There is absolutely no doubt about it."

"What? What?" Coniniaue asked eagerly.

"You are definitely a cat. A cat who can stand on her hind legs, anyway."

"GAH! Is that all?" Coniniaue demanded, putting her furry paws on her hips.

"Yup."

"Wait! Wait!" Ryoko popped out of nowhere and picked Coniniaue up. "I saw this in a manga once!"

"Yeah, so? What happened?" Coniniaue asked, grumping that she had been picked up.

"It was in Ranma ½. There was this guy named Ryouga… He fell into these cursed hot springs and now whenever he was splashed with cold water he became a pig. This is like that… Except it might be different and you might be a cat forever!"

"I WHAT?" Coniniaue shouted, outraged. She squirmed and jumped from Ryoko, landing skillfully on a table. "I'm going to be a freaking cat forever? How can I kiss Edward?" She looked at her claws; her ring was now around her kitty wrist. She was so glad that she didn't lose it. "So, um…" She looked at everyone staring down at her. "Someone go get some water!"

SPLASH.

"GAH!"

SPLASH.

"Alright, that didn't work…" Coniniaue fell to her knees, clawing the air. "NOOOOOOOOOO I'M GOING TO BE A CAT FOREVER! NO!"

"Coniniaue, Coniniaue, calm down!" Edward picked her up. "We'll find a way to restore you, I promise." He kissed her fuzzy lips. "I promise. In the meantime, you don't need your room anymore, so…"

Alphonse walked in right then. "Hi brother!" He paused. "Is that a cat? I knew you liked cats!"

"Alphonse, this is Coniniaue. Not a cat."

"What happened to her?"

"She fell in sacred waters and was cursed to forever be a cat."

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO MAKE IT SOUND SO MEAN!" Coniniaue complained.

Edward lay in bed. Then he felt something small and furry sitting on his chest…

"Coniniaue?" He muttered, opening his eyes. Being a cat, Coniniaue's eyes were a bright gold color in the darkness. "What is it?"

"The couch was lonely, Edward… Can I sleep with you?"

"Ugh, fine…" Edward lay his head back down. "Good night…"

Coniniaue curled up like most cats do on his chest. "Night-night, Mr. Elric! Haha."


	43. At work

**Chapter forty-three: At work**

A sweat drop fell down the back of colonel Roy Mustang's head. "So, um… This cat that stands on two legs is really your wife?"

"Yeah, buddy, if you have a problem with a cat in the military…" Coniniaue pouted, her furry arms crossed.

"Well, um, you are not doing anything unless you can still do alchemy…" Roy sighed. "But you're a CAT…"

Coniniaue clapped her hands and put them on the ground. A platform rose beneath her and brought her to eyelevel of Roy. "There, happy?"

Roy put his finger in between her furry ears. "How can you have hair if you're a cat…"

"Pay attention! Just because I'm a cat doesn't make me any different inside!"

"Does that mean you can get like worms and stuff…"

"ROY!" She banged on his head with a clawed hand. "Are you with me? Hello!"

"What? Coniniaue? How did you make that platform?"

BASH.

Coniniaue broke a Japanese fan over his head. "YOU IDIOT IF YOU WERE PAYING ATTENTION YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT I USED ALCHEMY DAMMIT!"

"…Oh." He rubbed his head. "What the Hell is that thing made of?"

"Wood."

"Owww… But anyway, Coniniaue, you're a cat! And I called you here strictly on BUSINESS! Important business!" Roy fumed. "I have no choice but to give Edward another partner for this mission."

"WHAT?" Coniniaue pounced on him, clawing his face and hair. "I AM SOO GOING ON THAT MISSION YOU CAN'T STOP ME, COLONEL ROY BASTARD!"

Roy plucked her off of his head by her tail. "I can stop you, in fact." With his free hand he rubbed the cuts on his face. "It's called 'a cage.' Or even better, 'an animal shelter.'"

"Anything but that! Fine…" Coniniaue shook her braided head. "Fine. Can I at least go with him? I promise I won't do anything… PLEASE?"

"Fine. But don't talk AT ALL." Roy ordered.

"Whatever." Edward mumbled. "So who am I paired with?"

"She'll be here any minute. Her name is Yvette, you'll like her."

"Yvette? Odd name."

"You think my name is odd, do ya?" A cloaked figure strode in. The only thing visible under her hood were two large, piercing green eyes.

"Oh! Sorry, um… You might be Yvette." Edward held out a hand. "I'm Edward, the Fullmetal alchemist."

"I heard they were putting kids in the military." Yvette sniffed. "They let in you, then that fourteen year old brat…"

"Why you…" Coniniaue leapt at her, clawing her face.

"Gah! Get off me, you stupid feline!" Yvette tore Coniniaue from her face, knocking off her hood in the process.

Edward's married.

Roy is not. And beautiful women were his weakness. The best part is, Yvette was 25 years old, just around his age.


	44. Yvette

**Chapter forty-four: Yvette**

Yvette had long black hair and a beautiful face… What Roy loved in a woman.

"I didn't suspect you so soon, Miss. Yvette." Roy smiled. "You're prettier than I thought. Then again, you don't let many see your face.

Yvette shoved him Coniniaue. "Take this cat away from me…"

Roy took Coniniaue and clamped a hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry. This is Edward's cat, Fluffy."

"Her name is NOT FLUFFY!" Edward growled, snatching Coniniaue and putting her on his shoulder. "Her name is… Trisha. After my mom."

"Whatever."

Yvette looked at Edward. "So you're that twelve year old kid they let in a few years ago. Usually kids your age are drooling by now."

"Sorry, I'm married."

Yvette glared. "Cute."

"No, he really is." Roy sighed. "He's married to Coniniaue Tommy, or Coniniaue Elric, now."

Edward lifted his hand to show his wedding ring.

"Oh my God." Yvette muttered. "Even the LAW is letting kids slip past. I really got to get married…"

"So do I."

"Shut up, Mustang."

"It was worth a try."

"So, Mr. Elric, where is your wife now?"

"Coniniaue is…"

"OFF! On a mission."

"Ah."

Coniniaue was climbed around Edward's body. It was amazing, what you can do with claws. She dug into one of his pockets and pulled out a small canteen of water. She climbed to his neck and whispered, "What the hell is this?"

"Water from the waterfall."

Something suddenly occurred to Coniniaue. She stole the canteen and dropped to the ground, pulling on his jacket with her teeth. Edward blinked. "What is it, eh, Trisha?"

Coniniaue pulled until she dragged off his red jacket. She pulled it around to the other side of Mustang's desk where no one could see her and poured the water on her head.

As a human, she put on Edward's jacket and held it tight, one hand below her breasts, the other above her waist. She stood up, soaking wet, and sat, "Hey, all…"

"Coniniaue!" Edward dashed over and hugged her. "What the Hell?"

Yvette blinked. "Where did she come from?"

"I've been here the whole time…"

"But that cat, she stole Edward's jacket… And now you have it."

"Yeah, about that…"


	45. The rest of the gang

**Chapter forty-five: The rest of the gang  
**

"Oh… So you fell in these enchanted waters and you turned into a cat." Yvette summarized.

"Yeah." Coniniaue was still clutching Edward's red jacket to her. "CAN I GET SOME CLOTHES? PLEASE?"

Roy kicked a storage closet door closed. "Sorry, fresh out. You'll have to go home."

"YOU PERVERT!" She almost let go, but thought better of it. "Edward, punch him for me."

"Will do."

BAM.

"Ouch! Not with your metal hand!"

"Coniniaue didn't say which hand. So naturally, I chose my metal one." Edward smirked and looked at Coniniaue. "Now, um, you can keep my jacket until I buy you something to wear…" Of course, he rushed out to buy something he wanted to see Coniniaue wear.

"Yvette, if you will be as so kind as to slap Roy for me…"

SLAP.

"Oww! What was that for?"

"Staring at me leery-eyed."

"Oh please, you are sixteen, you're too young and totally not my type."

"What about that time I saw you making out with…"

"Pay you twenty bucks to say you saw nothing."

Coniniaue opened her mouth and Roy slipped the twenty in. "I saw nuffink!"

Edward rushed in right then. "Here!" He tossed Coniniaue a bundle of bags. "Go change in the bathroom!"

"That was fast…" Yvette muttered.

"No way! I'm not leaving this room!" Coniniaue complained.

"Then change in the closet!" Edward opened the closet door and shoved her inside.

"ROY! WHY ARE THERE EXTRA UNIFORMS IN HERE? AND WHY ARE THERE TONS OF THEM IN MY SIZE?"

"No reason!"

Edward rubbed his hands together evilly. "Heh heh heh…"

Edward got her a black halter top and a black miniskirt. She walked out and threw Edward his jacket. "Damn you, Edward Elric…"

"I'm a sixteen year old boy, what can I say…"

"I'm a twenty seven year old boy and I can say you look hot!"

SLAP.

"SHUT UP, COLONEL ROY BASTARD!"

"The rest of your gang will be here soon…

Edward glanced at Yvette. "I have to go on this mission with a GANG? There's MORE? How many?"

"Three." Roy chuckled.


	46. Sabra, Randolph and Kerr

**Chapter forty-six: Sabra, Randolph and Kerr**

"Randolph, this is taking forever. Where are we going again?"

"Relax, Sabra. We're almost there. We're looking for colonel Roy Mustang's office."

"So we're going on some kind of mission? Did you get any information on it?"

"No. We are just supposed to report immediately."

"Who are we working with, Randolph?"

"Edward Elric, his wide, Coniniaue Elric, and Yvette."

"YVETTE! I can't STAND her…"

"Oh shut up. At least ACT like you can."

"Fine. Whatever you say, Randolph."

There was a knock on the door. Edward and Coniniaue was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall, Edward's arm around his wife. Sabra, Randolph and Kerr walked in as Coniniaue was about to drift off into sleep.

"Ah, Sabra…" Roy took her hand and kissed it. "How long has it been?"

Sabra pulled her hand back. "Don't get flirty with me, Roy Mustang! You got me drunk!"

"Why Sabra, whatever do you mean?"

Sabra was the perfect kind of women Roy Mustang would chase. She was smart, but quiet, beautiful, but deadly. Her weapons of choice were two old knives from her father; the blades were concealed in the hilts, so she had to press a button to be able to use them. She had a pretty face and long black hair to her waist, and wore a simple gray turtleneck sweater and simple black pants.

"You know what she means." Randolph retorted. "You asked her out and got her drunk and…"

Randolph was a tall boy, around Roy's age, with short brown hair and broad shoulders. His attire consisted of a yellow tunic-like shirt and brown khakis. He was simple, like Sabra, and was also her boyfriend. However, his weapons were two pistols, a little more advanced than he looked.

Edward stood up, Coniniaue with him. "Erm… Hello, I'm Edward Elric and this is my wife, Coniniaue…"

Karr just stared at him. "You're… No older than… Sixteen. You've got to be joking."

Karr was like Sabra and Randolph. He wore a black shirt and khakis. Simple.

Edward and Coniniaue held up their hands. "We're not."

Sabra, Randolph and Karr looked at each other. Then they burst out laughing. Edward just glared at them, but Coniniaue pounced. "OH SO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DO YOU? I'LL SHOW YOU, YOU ANNOYING PEOPLE!"

Roy caught her by the braid before she threw herself on Sabra. "Calm down, calm down. Sit, girl!"

"Shut up! I'm not a dog!" Coniniaue hissed.

"You're a dog of the military, no?" Karr piped up.

"Shut up.

"You are!"

"SHUT UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!"


	47. Winry

**Chapter forty-seven: Winry**

"Alright." After Randolph, Sabra, Kerr and Coniniaue settled down, Roy pulled out a bundle of papers. "This is…"

RING. RING.

Roy dropped the papers on his desk and picked up the phone. "Talk to me."

MUMBLE. MUMBLE.

"Oh. I'll send someone out immediately." He hung up.

"What's wrong, Colonel?" Sabra asked.

"There was a fire at a house in Resembool. Odd."

Edward froze. "What house?"

"The Rockbell home, I believe… Hey! Fullmetal! Bloodless! Where are you two going?"

Edward stood in the once-lovely threshold of the Rockbell home, his wife's hand firmly clenched in his. "Win… Winry…"

Coniniaue left him to search through the debris. "Come on. Maybe she's alive, we just have to look…"

As she said this Edward dove into the debris. "Winry! Granny Pinako!"

Coniniaue blinked. _Wha… Oh my God!_ She began to frantically clear away debris, until before her lay a great corpse.

The skin crumbled to ash at the touch, the air was already half-burned away. Rags that were a jumpsuit clung to the corpse. Edward glanced over. "N… No!" He jumped up and grabbed the corpse's hand. "WINRY! Winry…" he started to cry, as did Coniniaue. "Winry…"

They hugged each other, just as Roy and Yvette, Randolph, Sabra and Kerr dashed up.

"Who…?"

"Winry…"

Roy blinked. "The cute blonde you like?"

"I'm a married man, Roy."

"Oh… Yeah. Well, you used to like her. You're going to have to get over this…"

"SHUT UP!" Edward stood to his full height (Like 5'5") and glared Mustang in the eye. "All you do is tell me to get over the deaths of people close to me! Remember when you killed Maria Ross (in the manga)? Remember when Alexander and Nina were killed? You probably would have told me to get over the death of my own wife, if she died when she was shot. You would have told me to get over it if Alphonse died. Well you know what, what if you were me and I was you, and I told you to get over the deaths of everyone around you? Would you be sad? Angry? Yeah, well, get used to it. Oh, did someone die? GET OVER IT!" He spun around and stalked away, back to the train station. Coniniaue looked at Roy and shook her head, standing and going after her husband.

"Smooth, Colonel." Sabra smirked. "Smooth."


	48. Aquroya

**Chapter forty-eight: Aquroya**

"So… That bastard sent us all the way to Aquroya… To catch a thief?" Edward's mind flashed back to the time he caught Claire, or Psiren, as she was called.

"Yes. She is very powerful, which is why he booked us all rooms in four different hotels."

"FOUR? You mean you can't stay with me?"

"No, Ed, I get a room with you, Randolph gets a room with Sabra, Yvette gets her own and Kerr gets his own. Okay?"

"Oh, fine. But… I thought Aquroya was sinking. Several feet a year, right?"

"Yes. But they say an alchemist dove to the bottom of the sea and pushed the town all the way back to its original height." Coniniaue read from Mustang's report. Randolph, Sabra, Kerr, Yvette, Edward and herself were on the train of Aquroya already.

"'An alchemist?'" Edward repeated. "Anyone in the military?"

"No. In fact, it is she who is the thief."

"Ah. The perfect thief, besides you, of course. She saves the town, and now she gets to take the town's riches."

"However, this woman is not named Psiren, but…" She flipped through several pages and blinked. "'Mars?'"

"Mars is the Greek god of war." Sabra began. What a mythology geek. "It's also the fourth planet in our solar system from the sun. If you ask me it is a very logical name for a thief."

"Nobody asked you…" Yvette muttered.

"Shut up."

And of course, just as they got off the train, a skimpy woman in red darted by, as did a patrol of police officers. "She's worse than Psiren!" One of them growled.

The woman was wearing a red bra-like shirt and red leather pants with only one leg that went to her ankle. She wore no shoes, which was odd in a thief, and a red, jewel encrusted mask. A tall golden staff hung in her fingers, with a red orb at the top, inside which flashed the 3-D model of some kind of alchemic symbol.

Edward turned and took off after her. "Hey! Wait!"

Coniniaue glared. "YOU'D BETTER NOT LIKE HER, MR. EDWARD ELRIC!" She shouted.

Edward slapped his hands together and made a wall in front of Mars. "End of the line, thief girl!"

"I beg to differ." She smirked, her voice smooth and sexy. She banged the staff against his wall, leaping over the remains as it crumbled instantly.

Edward ran off after her. _Deconstruction…_ He thought. _Just like Scar… And her staff…_

Mars skid around a corner and Edward skid after her. But when he turned, she was gone. "What…?"

Mars peered at him from two buildings over. "What's this? The military's lapdog…?"

"She disappeared." He muttered. Her eyes became starry. "She's awesome…"

Suddenly a hand flashed before his eyes, a gold band around the ring finger.

"You're married, Edward, to me. Don't forget that!" Coniniaue growled.


	49. Mars

**Chapter forty-nine: Mars**

"She's a skillful one." Edward muttered. "Pretty and mischievous. Perfect for Roy."

"Aren't you so glad that you have a lovely, skillful, pretty mischievous wife?" Coniniaue asked, clenching her teeth.

"Yes dear."

BABAM.

"Ouch! What was that for…?"

Coniniaue wielded her wooden fan. "For liking her when you have a lovely wife such as I!"

"… I love you."

Ed turned on his side, frowning and looking out the window. _Mars… Who are you?_ He wondered. _Why do you steal?_

Something flashed by the window. Edward swung his arms over the side of his bed and dashed over, opening the window and glancing out. Mars stood on the top of their building, something pretty and red in her hand. The other hand held her staff. "It's all too easy." She muttered.

"Stop right there, thief." Edward growled. He climbed out the window onto the roof, snapping the metal bar over his black jacket. "You've done enough damage to Aquroya!"

"Why, whatever do you mean?" She asked, winking. "I just steal, I cause no damage."

"That's what you think! What about who you steal from?" Edward demanded.

Mars sighed, but tapped the bottom of her staff against the roof twice. Stone hands came from the roof and grabbed Edward's hands and ankles. "Oh, is the little Fullmetal alchemist going to hurt little old me?"

"How do you know who I am?" He hissed.

"Everyone knows you, little man." Mars chuckled. "You put Psiren away for a little bit. She escaped long ago, though." She took several steps closer to him. "Aw, what's the matter? Scared? Nervous?"

"Hah. The only emotion I feel right now is the one I'll feel when I put you away for good." He replied in that same cocky tone he used.

Mars leaned in close, her nose inches from his. "You're in no position to do that, Edward."  
"I'll have you know I'm married, thank you!" He sputtered.

"Oh, I know. To that Coniniaue girl." Mars leaned in casually and pressed her lips to his. "I have to leave. I'll see you later, Eddie!" She plucked the ring from his hand and tossed it over her shoulder as her stone hands let go of Edward.

Edward dove and caught it before it fell in the gutter.

"If things don't work out with you and Coniniaue, just call my name." She winked and hopped off the building into the wet streets of Aquroya.


	50. Rich

**Chapter fifty: Rich**

Edward looked at Coniniaue, but turned over in his bed. _I can't look at her without feeling guilty._ He thought. _Damn that Mars! Damn! Why…_

The nest morning, Coniniaue sat up, yawned and said, "Ed! Let go to my house!"

"Coniniaue, we're in Aquroya on an important mission." Edward complained. "And you're apartment is all the way back in central…"

"That's not my HOUSE, silly!"

…She seemed oddly happy this morning…

"I mean my parent's house!"

"Your parents are dead, Coniniaue."

"That doesn't mean I burned down my house like SOMEONE I know!"

"Hey! I didn't want any memories!"

"It seems you didn't want to save any of those one-of-a-kind books from your father's room either." She started braiding her hair. "Come on, Eddie, let's go see my house! I hope Kiwi's okay…"

"'Kiwi?'"

"Kiwi is your daughter. Come on."

"…Oh, Hell…"

Coniniaue rapped her fingers on the door. "Kiwi!" She called. "Mommy's home!"

Of course, Edward was still dumbstruck from the time she told him that he had a daughter.

Kiwi dashed up and hugged her mother's waist. "Mommy! You're back from central! I think Rusty has a cold, if he can get one."

"Oh, damn, you have MORE kids?"

"No, Ed." She went inside and sat down on a white sofa. "Snakes. Lots and lots of snakes."

Edward went in side and gasped, looking around. Everything was a pure, creamy white. Pillars held up the house in every corner, everything was embroidered with gold. There were three lovely floors, that all included four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a study, the 'snake room,' a kitchen and an attic.

"Coniniaue… Are you…"

"Yes…"

"FILTHY RICH?"

"Yup. My parents were rich doctors and alchemists, so when they died, I got all of their money. Combine that with the state alchemist job…"

"…Oh. Damn. That's a lot of stuff…"

"Yeah."

"And because I am your husband…"

"Yes, Ed. All of this is yours."  
"WOOHOOOOOOO!" Ed sprang around, looking at everything and polished everything that was gold. "This is SO COOL! I have a better house than Mustang! I can totally brag about this."

And so he picked up the silver and gold phone and called everyone he knew.


	51. Ed's house party and Winry's return

**Chapter fifty-one: Ed's house party and Winry's return**

Slender fingers rapped on the door. "Is this the right address?"

There was the crinkling of paper beside her as her companion looked down. "Yes. This is the right address."

"I can't believe someone would do something as mean as burn down our house!"

"We're lucky we weren't in it."

"How did that woman know us?"

"Who cares? We have a place to stay, don't we?"

Edward opened the door. "Hello… OH MY GOD!" He flung his arms around the woman. "WINRY! You're alive! And Grandma Pinako!"

"You thought we were dead?" Winry hugged him back. "Someone burned down our house while we were in town, and we met this lady who said our house burned down and she gave us this address to come to."

"Come in! I want you to meet my wife, Coniniaue."

"Your WIFE?"

Coniniaue was wearing the red dress she wore on her first date with Edward. She walked out of the kitchen, and lifted her eyes to her husband. "Alright Ed, everything's set up, and I have Kiwi pouring champagne…"

Her glance shot to Winry. "You must be Winry… We thought you were dead! Edward has told me so much about you."

"Hey! Aren't you that girl who got shot and I had to add automail?" Winry asked. "And, uh, he has?"

"Yeah. I was loopy when you operated so I didn't get a chance to speak with you. Yeah, he told me all about you. You're prettier up close than he described!" She smiled.

"Coniniaue!" Edward hissed.

"Oh, get a life. Did Alphonse get here yet?"

"I'm here, Coniniaue!" Alphonse waved from the doorway. "I caught up with Winry when I got off the train. I would have called you but we didn't have any money…"

"Oh! Sorry, Al, I didn't notice you… Unbelievable, yes. I know."

**Five minutes later...**

"Oh my God."

"Sir?"

"…It's damn huge."

Edward opened the door. "You like it, Roy?"

Roy was very angry. "Did you only invite me to brag about it?"

"Oh, you noticed?"

"Shut up." He walked in, Hawkeye trailing behind him. She looked pretty with her hair down for once. "Just because you're richer than me and married doesn't make you better than me."

"DADDY!" Kiwi ran up and hugged Edward's waist. "Daddy, I'm sorry, it was all Rusty's fault!"

"Kiwi, what's wrong?" Edward asked, kneeling to eye height (A/N: Ed, kneeling to eye height? Hard to believe XD) of his daughter.

"I dropped a champagne glass… Rusty climbed up my leg and made me drop it, I swear! I'm sorry, daddy!" Kiwi started to cry quietly.

"Kiwi, it's okay." Edward hugged her. "Just go get a dust pan and sweep up the glass okay? It's in the hall closet hanging on one of the pegs. If you can't reach it let me know, okay?"

Kiwi sniffled. "Okay, daddy."

"There's a good girl. Run along now!"

Kiwi nodded and flounced off, her long, lime green hair trailing behind her. Edward stood back up and looked at Roy with a slight smirk.

Roy blinked. "Oh, damn... I forgot... You have a daughter now...OH COME ON!"


	52. Pyra

**Chapter fifty-two: Pyra**

On the upper floor, a woman quietly dropped through the skylight. She tapped her staff against her outfit and made a nice red dress. "There." She had just happened to come into one of the guest bedrooms where Edward and Coniniaue had piled coats and other things on the bed. She gently laid her staff over the coats and smirked. "I just hope no one comes in here… But I am so glad Mustang invited me to the Fullmetal boy's house."

Just in case, she locked the door before she left the room.

Downstairs, Edward was chatting with Gracia Hughes when he saw her. A woman in red, standing in the corner, gently sipping a glass of champagne. Mustang too glanced up and exclaimed, "Pyra! I didn't see you come in!"

Pyra glanced up and smiled. "So sorry, Roy. I seem to come in unnoticed in many places."

"'Pyra?'" Edward repeated.

"Oh! Ed, this is Pyra. She's… An old friend. I hope you don't mind me inviting her." Mustang smirked.

Edward beamed. "Not at all! If by 'old friend' you mean 'A lovely lady I like to hit on…'"

Pyra giggled, but Roy fumed. "Fullmetal…"

"Haha! I'm not at work, Colonel Roy Bastard! You have no power over me!" Edward laughed. "So, Pyra... Is that the feminine of Pyro, or Pyros?"

"It's not official, but you could say that. It's not exactly a well used name."

"Ah. Doesn't it mean fire or something?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, well…" Mustang butt in, "My name means… Eh…"

Pyra blinked and said, "A mustang is a one-man long range fighter in the patrol and pursuit category, carrying six .50-caliber machine guns and ten five-inch rockets, or 2,000 pounds of bombs."

Edward and Mustang stared at her dumbly. "…Huh?"

"It's a deadly weapon."

"You seem to know your guns, Pyra." Roy commented. "What was that word you used to describe Edward?"

"Mamestubu."

"…What'd you call me?"

"It means 'pint-sized.'"

"WHAT! Why you…"

"Oh!" Pyra smiled. "I'm so sorry. Roy said you wouldn't mind."

"Roy… You… Are evil…"

"Oh, I know." He smirked.

Pyra curtsied. "I'm sorry, but I must be leaving now. Please excuse me while I get my coat."

"You know where it is?"

"Yes." Pyra turned and strode up the stairs. _Well that was a total waste of time. I didn't get any information about local valuables. _

Edward watched her leave. Then, something odd and familiar caught his eye.

Pyra didn't wear any shoes.


	53. Uroborus tattoos

**Chapter fifty-three: Uroborus tattoos**

"Mars! Don't move a muscle!" Edward bust through the door, just in time to see Pyra snatch up her staff.

"Mars? I don't know what you're talking about!" Pyra giggled. She morphed her outfit back to original. "I go by many names. Mars, Pyra. My true name, which you will never discover. I'm sorry, little man, but you're out of your league!"

She jumped out of a hole she made in the roof. Edward got a quick glimpse of her heels; there were uroborus tattoos on the soles of her feet!

"So that's how you run and jump so fast!" Edward shouted after her. "HOMUNCULUS!"

_But her staff…_ Edward thought. _Is it made of… A Philosopher's Stone?_

Roy, Alphonse, Hawkeye, and a number of other military personnel burst into the room. "Brother?" Alphonse exclaimed. "What happened?"

"Well, it seems that Roy's girlfriend is really a homunculus. True name, unknown."

"Pyra? No way." Roy muttered.

"Oh yeah. Pyra is Mars. I know not what her homunculus name is. I don't even think she's one of the seven homunculi sins. But her name has got to be something evil like that."

Coniniaue stared at her husband for several moments until Edward got irritated and said, "What?"

"You just… Sounded so grown up there, Ed. I know you hate it when people say that, but you did."

The next morning 

"Colonel, sir?"

"Edward? Why are you calling?"

"Sorry, sir. But I have to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Well, I want to research the Mars case. She's a homunculus, and her staff could be made of a Philosopher's Stone. She has uroborus tattoos on the soles of her feet, which enable her to run and jump in the blink of an eye. I still have to work on her power. What do the uroborus tattoos do for her other than make her fast? Please, colonel, I need this research!"

Roy sighed. "If it's that important to you…. Yes. Edward Elric, I will assign you the Mars case. But really, this is more an issue for the police of Aquroya."

"I don't really care about that anyone, colonel." He hung up and went into Coniniaue's study, which was now his too. Three walls were lined with books on alchemy, and one of them was lined with books on snakes. Kiwi had a strong interest in them, and Coniniaue wanted to provide reading material for her.

He pulled out a book that read 'The seven sins.' "This might have information on the seven sins and maybe some extras…" He muttered. "All these pages can't be about just seven things total."

He opened to the index and scanned through the chapters: **Lust**, **Gluttony**, **Envy**, **Pride**, **Wrath**, **Greed**, **Sloth**, Chaos, Death, Renkinjutsu. He flipped to the first page.

"There are only seven original sins. Be we thought you should learn the true ten."


	54. Chaos, Death, and Renkinjutsu

**Chapter fifty-four: Chaos, Death, and Renkinjutsu**

"'**Chaos**: The formless and disordered state of matter before the creation of the cosmos. In Greek mythology, Chaos is one of the oldest Gods and one of the most powerful.'" Edward read. "Oh, Hell…" He was on a page that described each sin with two or three lines, and then told you the page to find more on that sin. "'**Death**: You may see Death as a fearsome skeleton with a scythe, when Death is really much more. In such, why must good people be taken by the Grim Reaper? Death is mainly a manner of passing from life. Going beyond the gate into Heaven, Hell, or reincarnation.'" He sighed. "Death… What could you truly look like? …Well, um… what is Renkinjutsu? '**Renkinjutsu**: The art of creating. Many Renkinjutsushi use chalk circles to create things from the supplies nearby, but you do not exactly NEED to use chalk. You can use anything that can draw. Other subjects suggested are 'Creation,' 'God,' and 'Alchemy.''"

The book fell from Edward's hands and slammed into the ground. Edward was frozen, his pupils shrunk and his face white. He kept repeating, _Other subjects suggested are 'Creation,' 'God,' and 'Alchemy.'_

"It can't be right… Alchemy is not a sin… But more importantly…" He clenched his fists, his eyes returning to their old, golden fury. "I know what homunculus Mars is. Pyra is Mars. Mars is Renkinjutsu."

A delicate hand reached down and picked up the book. Edward glanced up at his wife, who read the page. "Oh, Hell."

"That's what I said when I read Chaos."

"But I'm reading Renkinjutsu."

Edward smirked. "Well, I have no God I wish to believe in. So to me, the seven main sins and the three sub sins are ashes in the wind."

"But I just can't believe it…" She shook her head and looked back at the page. "Well, many forms of alchemy are trespassing on God's domain of creation…"

Edward flinched. _Trespassing on God's domain of creation._

"We are creating what he could not without his human pawns." She snapped the books shut and turned out of the study. "Ed? Are you ready to go HUNTING?"

"Hell yeah."

"Where are you two going?" Winry asked. Of course, Coniniaue had given her and Grandma Pinako two of the six guest rooms. She had to had to fix the gold plaques on the door to say "Winry" and "Pinako."

"We're going out." Coniniaue had her hair in a braid, but was in different clothes. She was wearing the black tube top Winry usually wore and a black leather jacket with the collar turned up, with faded black pants and fingerless gloves. She had night vision goggles hanging around her neck. Her black combat boots stayed the same, as did the two pistols holstered beneath her coat and the two switchblade knives sheathed at her hips.

Winry looked at up and down. "Coniniaue, you're going out…?"

"We're going on a hunt for Mars." Edward finished.

As her best friend and his wife dashed out the door, she smiled and sighed, "Good luck."


	55. The tenth sin

**Chapter fifty-five: The tenth sin**

A small figure dropped through the skylight of a museum, landing silently due to her bare feet. She darted behind a pillar as the security guards went outside to guard the front and side doors. She smirked to herself and dashed silently back into the hall, making for the jewel exhibit. Once there, she lifted the glass case of something sparkly and pulled it out, looking at it closely. "The Renkinjutsu Diamond." She said, her lips curling into a smile. "No magical power whatsoever, but boy, is it beautiful."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"

Mars glanced up. Envy stood not ten feet away, holding out a hand. "Hand it over, Mars."

"Shut up, homunculus."

Envy smirked. "Have you ever truly wondered WHY you have those uroborus tattoos on the soles of your feet?"

Mars glared. "How do you know about those…?"

"Haha, I know everything about you, Mars. You're a homunculus thief, terrorizing the town of Aquroya. You used your staff to save the city from sinking, and now take your payment in theft. You go by many names, Pyra, Mars, and when you need to be in disguise, Toganin. Which means criminal. But I know your true name." He took a step towards her. "Renkinjutsu."

Mars just glared at him. "How…"

"You were the homunculus created when Nigel Tommy split his two daughters, Connie and Donna. The girls remember none of this, but Nigel did. That's why he threw you onto the streets and told you to never come back, Renkinjutsu. He did not want a homunculus in his home." He took another step closer. "And the staff you hold; a young woman gave it to you, no?"

"Yes…"

"Her name was Lust, and she was the first of the seven homunculus sins. She made a good choice. Inside the staff is a humungous red stone, the stone used to create a Philosopher's Stone. Lust says it equals the same power, but it does not. Come with us sins, Renkinjutsu."

Renkinjutsu didn't know where to turn. So she put on a brave face and said, "Take me to Lust."

Envy led her out of the museum and back into an alley. He turned into a cat and jumped up the fire escape to the roof. Renkinjutsu just jumped.

Lust glanced up. "Oh. Renkinjutsu."

"Why didn't you just tell me I was homunculi?" Renkinjutsu asked. "I could have helped out long ago."

"We wanted to wait until you were at full power. And if you can escape the Fullmetal boy, then you are far beyond full power." Lust explained, hopping off Gluttony's back. She turned away. "I was I was that powerful when I was your age--!" She spun around, her nails extending. Renkinjutsu's staff thumped against the ground and cut off Lust's nails with a stone wall.

"I wish I had a red stone as big as that…" Lust sighed, her nails retracting. "But you are Renkinjutsu, the alchemic sin. And you have been chosen to have the staff. Now, we, the seven sins, have a job for you. Fine the other two, Chaos and Death."


	56. Love and Hate

**Chapter fifty-six: Love and hate**

"Renkinjutsu!"

The four present sins turned. Edward and Coniniaue burst onto the roof via the inside stairs. At almost the same time they alchemized knives into their automail arms.

"I knew you were a homunculus!" Edward hissed. "Ever since I saw those uroborus tattoos… And on top of that, you're associated with Lust, Gluttony and Envy!"

"I just met them. So yes, now I am associated with them" Renkinjutsu smiled. "We meet again, little Ed."

Edward's cheeks turned red.

Coniniaue looked at him. "Huh…?"

"SHE KISSED ME!"

Coniniaue just glared at him.

"…Sorry. But I didn't kiss her! SHE KISSED ME!"

"Whatever…"

Renkinjutsu twirled her staff. "You come to put me away?"

"Hell yeah. I've also come to grab that staff…"

Renkinjutsu tapped her staff on the roof. A cage rose around Edward, the bar going around his wrists so he could no use alchemy. "Envy, why don't you take care of Coniniaue?"

"My pleasure!" Envy morphed into Edward and smiled at Coniniaue. Coniniaue kept a brave face; she knew the real Edward was right beside her, thought in a cage. Coniniaue sliced through the bars holding Edward's hands and said, "Go for Lust and Gluttony!"

Edward nodded and freed himself from the cage. Of course, Coniniaue went after the Edward-Envy and Renkinjutsu. Envy made a blade on his (now) automail arm and clashed it against Coniniaue's, forcing her back to the edge of the roof. Coniniaue threw her weight in her arm and sent him back so she could stumble forward. Edward was flipped through Lust's nails and away from Gluttony to avoid getting sliced.

Coniniaue's knife plunged through Envy's heart, which sent him even farther back so he could recover. Renkinjutsu tapped the roof and made a hand come out and grab Coniniaue's ankle, making her fall. Coniniaue kicked the broke the hand, jumped at Renkinjutsu.

Her knife crashed against her staff. Coniniaue pushed, but Renkinjutsu actually stepped forward, aided by her uroborus tattoos. "Coniniaue, you don't stand a chance against me. I'm the Renkinjutsu homunculus, I'm stronger than you and Ed combined!"

"Hah! You obviously haven't had a long encounter with the bloodless alchemist!" Coniniaue grunted, pushing her back. "No blood means no pain!"

"Uroborus tattoos mean no effort!" Renkinjutsu took another step forward, still pushing her staff on Coniniaue's knife. "I'm strong, Coniniaue. Hah."

"I said it once and I'll say it again! You haven't had a long encounter with the bloodless alchemist!" Coniniaue pulled back, unaware she stood on the edge of the roof.

"And I said it once. I'm stronger than you and Edward COMBINED!" Renkinjutsu jumped into the air and brought her staff in towards Coniniaue. She could do nothing as, at that moment, Renkinjutsu's staff plunged deep through the heart of Coniniaue, sending her off the edge. Renkinjutsu's staff was wrenched from her grasp as it held fast in Coniniaue's heart, falling to the streets below with her.


	57. The true knowledge

**Chapter fifty-seven: The true knowledge**

Everything around her was white. Coniniaue sat up. "Hello?" She called. She stood; her very movements echoed. She stood and turned around. Now, before her was a giant door. The pattern on it was exquisite, something you would see in a museum, or… a church. It opened. Tiny black hands snaked out and grabbed her, pulling her in. "NO! Not again!"

Hundreds of images flashed through her eyes. But these were only memories from after she saw the true knowledge before.

She was thrown out of the door, on her knees, panting.

"Long time no see, eh?"

She looked up. A golden material, in the shape of a human, floated before her. She glared at it, able to see the veins and blood it had stolen from her before. "YOU!" She growled. "Why did you take me here? I cannot die that way!"

"I know, haha. This is a NEAR DEATH experience. I'm here to take something else from you."

Coniniaue alchemized the knife one her hand again. "Not this time!" She jumped and hacked at the shape, feeling the knife quiver.

"OH HELL!" The shape began to vibrate. "DAMN YOU!"

He disappeared. And Coniniaue woke up.

Coniniaue grunted and pulled out the staff from her heart. When Edward saw Coniniaue struck down, he began very angry and went all out with the homunculi. But he was totally unprepared for what happened next. Coniniaue suddenly appeared on the roof, Renkinjutsu's staff in her hand. Her hand was placed over the hole in her chest where the staff was.

"Renkinjutsu." She said. There was power in her voice, limitless ambition. The homunculi stopped and everyone just stared, Lust about to extend her nails, Gluttony's teeth fastened around the knife from Edward's automail, Envy about to pounce on Edward, and Renkinjutsu about to attack. "You tried to kill me. Hah, idiot. I'm Coniniaue Elric, I must have a unique ability to be in the military. Renkinjutsu is the art of alchemy. An alchemist. But your alchemy is all fake. You use this staff to bypass the laws. But remember this, Renkinjutsu. The base law of alchemy is 'equivalent exchange.' That means that mankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return!" With those final words, Coniniaue lifted the staff and bashed the top into the roof, the red stone alchemy circle exploding into a thousand tiny pieces.

"My staff!" Renkinjutsu cried.

"Coniniaue!" Edward threw the homunculi off him and dashed to her side. He looked at her hand, his pupils widening.

"Coniniaue…"

"Yeah?"

"Your hand…"

Coniniaue too looked down at her hand.

"…Is bleeding."


	58. The little bloodless girl is no more

**Chapter fifty-eight: The little bloodless girl is no more**

"Coniniaue…"

"I got my blood back."

"Wow… Wha…"

"HAHA!" Coniniaue did a cartwheel. "I got my blood back! I defeated God! IN YOUR FACE, GOD!"

"Oh, marvelous!" Lust brought her nails to average length, smirking. "You've just saved a trouble for the making of a Philosopher's Stone." She turned with her fellow homunculi, leaving.

"Lust." Coniniaue's voice just dripped anger. She fused a knife into her automail arm. "I'm just about to bash that stupid red stone right from your—"

But the homunculi were gone. All that remained was a cartoon drawing of Envy with the words, "Aw, you bleed, just for me!" beneath it.

Coniniaue stamped her foot into the words, dragging it along them to smudge them out. "I bleed for no one."

Later 

Coniniaue was sitting at her desk in the study, an alchemy book opened in front of her. But instead of practicing, she was looking at her hand. Winry had bandaged it for her when they got home, but she could still se bloodstains beneath them. _I defeated God. _She thought. _I reclaimed what is mine._

"Coniniaue?"

Coniniaue glanced up. Edward had walked into her study just a minute ago and was now standing in front of her desk. "What is it, Ed?"

"Do you have good handwriting?"

Even later 

"'What pride.' Rose muttered. 'Are you saying you are God's equal?' 'Well, it's like the myth about the hero.' I replied. 'He made wings out of wax so he could fly, but when he got too close to the sun… to God… the wax melted and her crashed to the ground.' Did you get all that, Coniniaue?"

"Yep. Writing down all of your adventures was a great idea, Edward. Now we even have something to work on in our spare time. Maybe we can make this a book some day." Coniniaue just finished writing down the last word in a neat script.

"Maybe. You know, if we're making a book of all my adventures, we should add yours, too."

"That's a great idea. We'll switch between chapters, we'll start with your life, then go to mine, then back again."

"We have to go in order from age, though." Edward replied. "We can start from when my father left and Alphonse and I got interested in alchemy, then we can go back to when you and Dominique were split."

Coniniaue was about to say something, but silenced herself.

"Coniniaue?"

"Don't talk about that…"

"Please, just tell me what life was like until your parents died…"

"…Fine."

FLASHBACK.


	59. Heartbreaking Flashbacks

**Chapter fifty-nine: Heartbreaking flashbacks**

_Connie coughed. "Daddy? Don… DONNA!"_

_Donna coughed. "I'm here, sister! I'm here!"_

_"Where? I can't see you! I can't see anything!" Connie cried. The room was full of smoke that hung heavily in the air._

_"Connie! Donna!"_

_"Daddy!" The girls called unanimously. "Where are you?"_

_Connie felt a hand grasp her ankle. It was big, and warm. "Daddy! Is that you?"_

_"Yes. Where's your sister?"_

_Nigel felt a tiny hand wrap around his finger. "Donna?" He stood up, coughing. The smoke began to clear. He could see the faint forms of his two daughters below him. "Girls! Are you alright?"_

_"I'm fine." They both said._

_The smoke cleared away. "Oh, good God." Nigel muttered. His two daughters looked exactly alike, with blood red hair that fell to their ankles in two knotted heaps. "What have I done…"_

_"What do you mean, daddy?" Connie asked. She looked at her sister. "OH GOD!"_

_"Eek! Connie!" Donna pointed. "Your hair!"_

_"YOUR hair!"_

_Nigel's wife rushed downstairs. "Nigel! What…" Her gaze fell on Connie and Donna, then lifted in anger to Nigel. "Nigel Tommy, what have you done?"_

_"I… I do not know…"_

END FLASHBACK

"Those were the good old days." Coniniaue sighed, after writing all of this down. "We were a tight family. My father kept researching how to get Connie and Donna back. Because he wanted us to be different, he renamed us Coniniaue and Dominique."

"That's… Mean…" He sighed. "So what happened next?"

"Well, mom and dad went to work as doctors and automail technicians for the Ishbal war and died. When the news reached us…"

FLASHBACK

_Dominique sat up in bed, looking at the nearby clock. Three in the morning. "Coniniaue, what are you doing?" She asked when she noticed her sister packing her bags. _

_"I'm leaving, Dominique." Coniniaue replied coldly. She was packing her clothes into a bag. "I'm going to join the military and avenge my parents' death."_

_"Coniniaue, you are far too young! You're thirteen!"_

_"Yeah, but I'm an accomplished alchemist. I heard they accepted a twelve year old boy as a state alchemist, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." She replied. She pulled out a pistol from her back and shoved in the bullets, holstering it at her hip._

_"Daddy's gun…"_

_"For protection."_

_Dominique was devastated. "So you're leaving me here? All alone?"_

_"Yes. I'm sorry. Please, please say you will come with me to Central City?"_

_"…No. It was your choice to even go for this job, and I don't want to follow. I'm going to stay and protect our village, whether you like it or not!"_

_"Suit yourself, Dominique. Love you." Coniniaue pulled the back pack onto her back and left the room, the house, the city, the county. She left Dominique's life once and for all._

_…Or so they both thought._


	60. The job

**Chapter sixty: The job**

_"Excuse me…" Coniniaue shuffled her feet. "I don't know if I'm in the right place… Erm, am I in Central City?"_

_The old woman smiled. "Yes, child."_

_"Can you point me towards the Central City military headquarters?"_

_The old woman pointed her towards the tall building._

_"Oh, and one last thing…" Coniniaue shifted her backpack. "What day is it?"_

_"August second."_

_"Thank you." Coniniaue bowed to the old woman and shuffled off. **My birthday is in exactly one month. September second. **She sighed. **I wonder when they'll test me?**_

Central 

_"ONE MONTH?" Coniniaue slammed her hands down on Mustang's desk. "That is completely absurd, you son of a bitch! How do you expect me to be ready by September second?"_

_"You have a worse mouth than Edward Elric." Mustang brushed her insults off like a bee sting. "Bottom line, you're not ready by then, you don't get in. No routine, no job."_

"WHAT?" She growled. "You stupid, insignificant, sick minded son of a—" 

_"I'm sorry, miss, but that's how the military is. Tough. Anyway, if you're as good as you say you are, I'll need your name…"_

_"Coniniaue. Coniniaue Tommy."_

_"Is there anything special about you besides alchemy?"_

_"…No."_

_"Alright. Better go start studying!"_

_As Coniniaue left, Mustang sighed. He picked up his phone and called Maes Hughes._

_"Maes?"_

_"Roy? What's…"_

_"Coniniaue Tommy, the daughter of Nigel Tommy, just came in asked for a state alchemist job."_

_"…Oh Hell."_

_Coniniaue sighed. She was leaning against a door, listening. "Damn."_

END FLASHBACK

"HE GAVE YOU ONE MONTH!" Edward complained. "That's stupid! He gave you one month to study up and get your routine ready? He gave me like four!"

"I guess he thought I would be really good to be the daughter of Nigel Tommy." Coniniaue shrugged, scribbling down the last words.

"So what about the exam?"

"Well, it was on my birthday, September second…"

FLASHBACK

_All of the high-ranking officers turned up for the exam of Coniniaue Tommy._

_"Coniniaue, you will use these raw materials to create something unique, something that separated your alchemic talent front other people." King Bradley began. "Edward Elric turned a freak accident into something beautiful. But because you are the only one we're testing today, that won't happen. Begin."_

_Coniniaue walked nervously onto the stone environment. She slapped her hands together and put them on the ground, just as a dog chasing a cat ran inside. _

_"…NO!"_


	61. Freak Transmutation

**Chapter sixty-one: Freak transmutation**

_All of the high-ranking officers gasped. What stood before them was now a sort of dog-cat mix; a cats head, a dog's body and a cat's tail and claws._

_Coniniaue was shocked. The dog-cat, that seemed to have the attitude of a dog, put his front paws on Coniniaue's knees and licked her face. Coniniaue turned her head to look at King Bradley. He and his officers were silent._

_"Alright… Um… Sit!"_

_The dog-cat sat down obediently. _

_"I can't make you stay like this, so…" She slapped her hands together and placed them on the ground._

_FLASH._

_The cat mewed, and the dog barked. And they resumed their chase. Roy Mustang gasped quietly, and King Bradley blinked._

_"This truly is the daughter of Nigel Tommy." He said aloud to his officers. "She possesses her father's alchemic talent, and more. Mustang!"_

_"Sir?" Mustang saluted nervously._

_"Like Master Elric, she will be under your command. See that she gets her own room…"_

_"But sir, she already has a home in Aquroya…"_

_"Are you questioning me?"_

_"No sir! At once, sir."_

_Coniniaue sighed in relief. She was in! Wait until she told Dominique about this! As King Bradley cleared his throat, she glanced up. _

_"And, Coniniaue?"_

_She saluted and nodded. _

_"Happy birthday."_

END FLASHBACK

"Aw, it was sweet of King Bradley to do that. He gave you what you wanted on your birthday…"

"Yeah, you could say that. But then, came a certain mission… Two years and eight months later… Erm…"

"Why are you so reluctant to tell me?"

"Well, it was kind of a spy mission…"

"On…"

"You."

FLASHBACK

_"Shouldn't you send someone ELSE?"_

_Roy sighed. "I'm sorry, Coniniaue. It's only one day. I have a lunch date with a girl and no one else is free."_

_"A lunch date. Hah. You're probably going to take the rest f the day off and go out to lunch then get this girl to come to your apartment then get her drunk then…"_

_"Shut up. Just take these and go find Ed. He's really short, you can't miss him. He has blonde hair in a braid and is wearing a red jacket with a black shirt. He'll be walking around with a giant suit of armor. Okay?"_

_"Fine. You'd better give me a raise for this!"_

END FLASHBACK

"He sent you to spy on me?"

"Yeah. I brought him back my report and BOOM, he assigned me as your partner… And you know what happened there.

"… I love you."


	62. Kiwi

**Chapter sixty-two: Kiwi**

"Mommy?" Kiwi called. "Mooooooommyyyyy…"

"Kiwi, we're in the study." Coniniaue replied. "I'm telling daddy about my life…"

"I LOVE THAT STORY!" Kiwi darted in and sat down on her father's lap. "Did you already pass the…"

"No, I didn't."

"Pass what?" Edward asked.

"Kiwi's favorite part, the part where…"

FLASHBACK

_Coniniaue left her lovely Aquroya home to go shopping for groceries. "Hmm… Dinner for one. It shouldn't take that long to buy everything I need for the next two weeks, especially on my salary and parents' money…" She mumbled._

_She lifted her head when she heard the crying of a little girl. She was standing in the entrance of an alley, bawling her eyes out over her broken doll._

_"Did you break your doll?" Coniniaue asked kneeling down by her. The girl nodded._

_"Well I'll fix it for you, okay?"_

_"Okay…"_

_"And what's your name?"_

_"Kiwi!"_

_"Alright Kiwi."_

_Coniniaue clapped her hands and put one next to the broken doll. There was a bright, blue light, and the doll lay fixed at her feet. "Here." She muttered._

_She was about to give the doll to Kiwi, and pulled it back and said, "Wait…" Coniniaue pulled a long, black thread from her sleeve and put it next to the doll. She clapped and transmuted the thread onto the doll, writing with it sideways down the doll's arm, "KIWI"_

_"Eek! Thank you lady!" Kiwi squealed, taking her doll. "Now I'll never lose it again!"_

_"No problem, Kiwi. Where are your parents?"_

_"I don't have any parents… They were killed by some kind of ALK-EHM-EE…"_

_Coniniaue was heartbroken.** Alchemy was not discovered to kill…** She thought furiously._

_"Kiwi, why don't you move to the local orphanage and get adopted?"_

_"No, no, no!" Kiwi screamed. "The other kids are mean to me because I have green hair! They call me tree head!" She started to cry again._

_Coniniaue picked her up and shifted her on her hip. "Come on. I'll take care of you, Kiwi…"_

_"REALLY?" Kiwi was delighted._

_"Really."_

_"So now you're…"_

_"I'm what?"_

_"…Mommy?"_

_"Yes. I am mommy."_

END FLASHBACK


	63. Roy

**Chapter sixty-three: Roy**

"Oh, Hell…" Edward smiled. "And Roy just let you have her?"

"…No. Not exactly."

FLASHBACK

_"Please, colonel! Please! She has no parents, and I just found her on the streets…"_

_"Coniniaue, does this mean you'll take in every helpless child you find? You're going to have to let some of them go."_

_"You don't understand…"_

_"I'm still not granting you custody of… Kiwi, is it?"_

_"I don't care. She doesn't have to be my daughter legally. I'm going to take care of her whether you like it or not."_

_"Are you talking back to me?" Roy asked, glancing up._

_Coniniaue glared at him. "You know what? Yes. I'm talking back to you. And I'm willing to quit to do it!" She threw him her pocket watch and strode out, her head held high._

_On her way out, she ran into King Bradley._

_"SIR!" She saluted, almost dropping Kiwi. Kiwi, looking at her foster mother, did the same._

_"Why, hello Coniniaue!" He bent down. "Who is this?"_

_"This is Kiwi. I found her on the streets and—pardon this—Colonel Roy Bastard won't let me keep her. So I quit and I'm keeping her anyway."_

_"You quit? Coniniaue, you are one of our best alchemists." King Bradley smiled. "Coniniaue, if this is what it takes, I'll grant you custody of Kiwi if you rejoin. Alright?"_

_"Eek! Thank you, sir!" She set Kiwi down. "Sir, would you be so kind as to accompany me to the colonel's office?"_

_"I would be delighted, Coniniaue."_

_Coniniaue turned and strode back into Roy's office._

_"Yo. Roy, give me my watch."_

_"Hah, fat chance. After they way you spoke to me earlier, you'll be lucky to even get a job in Amestris…"_

_King Bradley entered the room, Kiwi trailing behind him._

_"Sir!" Roy stood up and saluted. "Sir, on what occasion do I owe this visit…?"_

_"I want you to give Coniniaue here her watch back and grant her custody of Kiwi." King Bradley demanded._

_"But sir…"_

_"If you want to keep your job…"_

_"Coniniaue, welcome back to the military."_

END FLASHBACK

"Haha, good old Bradley." Edward smiled. "He was always one of the nicest people in the military. Hah, other than Armstrong. He broke my ribs every time he saw me."

"I know. You were assigned him to watch you? I got Hawkeye and Fury."

"No fair. You got better people than me!"

"Maybe I'm just BETTER THAN YOU!"

"Hah, fat chance!"


	64. 4 year old genius

**Chapter sixty-four: 4 year old genius**

The phone suddenly rang on Coniniaue's desk. She picked it up and said, "Talk to me."

"Coniniaue?"

"Colonel? Something wrong?"

"Two things… First, do women like roses?"

"Yeah, we love them." She sighed. "What else?"

"Oh, yeah. A woman and her child were shot just five minutes ago. In Aquroya, too. On Icicle street. I'm already there, and I expect you to be here too, with Ed."

"But I need to find a babysitter for…"

"Bring her with you, if you must."

The crime scene 

Fury had already made chalk outlines of the bodies. Coniniaue darted up right then, Edward at her heels. "Shot? How could we not hear this?" She mumbled. "A woman and her child…"

She set down Kiwi and said, "Go and play, but stay nearby."

Kiwi toddled off. But instead of going to play, the 4-year-old girl ducked under the yellow tape. Because she was so close to the ground, she noticed something that no one else did.

"MOMMY!" She shouted. "MOMMY, HURRY!"

"Not now, Kiwi…" Coniniaue sighed. "Mommy is working…"

"It's important!"

"Kiwi…"

Kiwi sighed. "Mommy, please, it has to do with the murder…"

Coniniaue walked over. "What, Kiwi?"

Kiwi pointed. Under her finger was an alchemy circle, scrawled deep into the ground. Coniniaue picked up Kiwi and handed her to Roy, who was the closest person at the time. "Hold this."

"Erm, okay…" Roy just blinked and stared at Kiwi, who stared back. "…Yo."

Coniniaue rubbed her hands together. "Okay. Let's see what this circle does…" She slammed her hands by the circle. A blue light flashed, and in her palm she then held a very, very strange gun. And she knew exactly a certain person who killed with that gun.

"Bodies go splat…" She whispered.

"What?"

"BODIES GO SPLAT, don't you see?" She stood up and waved the gun in Mustang's face. "This is a gun of personal design, created by my sister, Dominique Tommy. Bodies go splat! That's what she always says!"

Edward took Kiwi from Roy's arms. "Coniniaue, let's go home."

"You go. I'm going to stay and help with the case."

Edward sighed. "Fine, fine…

Later 

Kiwi lay in bed, thinking about the previous hour's events. Her eyes drooped. "Night-night…" She mumbled.  
She was unsuspecting about the long, odd dream she was about to watch.

* * *

Isn't this cute? Well, alas, I leave you here. No, you nitwit, I'm still continuing the story. But I'm not adding any more chapters. THIS IS LONG ENOUGH! Alright listen, my next story in this series will be titled "Kiwi's dream." The main character switches to Kiwi for that story. But get this, it's 13 years into the future. Kiwi still hates alchemy, but Coniniaue and Edward gave into her demand of sending her to the local highschool. She won't go to college, she just wants to see what highschool people are like. Edward and Coniniaue are 29, Kiwi is 17, and-- get this-- Roy is 40. But he's still as hot as ever! Now, I'd like to give some credits to all my little fans:

crazyanimefreak45: Thank you for staying with me through the story. Your comments are funny and original. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

miroku-has-darkness: Thanks for commenting... Yes, my story is awesome! -Poses for camera-

shadow lurker: Sorry, but my creative mind IS NOT on steroids XD

monkeygirl982: Thanks for reviewing. Yeah, I made a comment of my own that explains Tenchi Muyo, if you haven't already seen it. Get this, in the next story, they still didn't get to go home. Hah.

sarcastic smile: Fear my confusion-ness. You have to read carefully and slowly to get what's going on XD

fmafan-92: My chapters are short. Sue me. But yes, I AM very great at writing. -Poses for camera again-

ZeNfindr: You too have stayed with me a long time. Thank you SO MUCH!

Lucia69: Is 'great chappy' all you every say? No offence, thanks for the reviews anyway XD

Shina Xhou: Ah, my first review. Thankies x100!

Mutsu Okato: Thankies for the review! WOO HOO AND MUTSU'S FAVORITE STORY AWARD GOES TO: ME!

AngelEyesKagome: You're welcome for that review I gave ya'll in something… And THANK YOU for my review! Whee.

Spearette: Sorry. Listen, if this ever becomes a famous story one day, I'll be sure to combine the chapters for you XD

Fading wind: w00t. I can't believe all the reviews I got for this story either. Guess what, I'll keep getting reviews after this chapter!

PsycoNeko15: OMG I know! This is one of my most adorable stories I've ever written.

Unknow-Alchemist: The last reviewer when I put up this chapter. Thank you so much!

(Did you all notice? This think-you section is longer than the chapter itself o.O)


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